Hello. Today I interrupt my flow of the 30 day meme to speak of the horror of trying to have sex with someone with a cast, a few hours after they had an operation.

Yesterday, my boyfriend had to undergo hand surgery to repair some nerve damage with was inflicted while he was battling some frozen chicken. He came home pretty early as he was the first to be seen, all stitched up and plastered he rolled into bed and had a bit of a cat-nap. Now, after a year and a half I am aware that after any kind of sleep I will inevitably be poked in the back by his ‘length’; I am also aware that he cannot possibly stay in a bed for over 30 minutes without starting to get rather frisky. Today was no different. Now, I was quite worried as he had just had surgery but he persuaded me that everything would be fine.

Now, since he’s all plastered and hurt and what-not it would be just him getting all the fun but I rationalized that I would keep score and make him repay me- with interest. So anyway, I slide my hands under his boxers and begin. After a while I slip under the covers and start sucking away. He’s hard and clearly enjoying it so I think ‘fine, no problem, the operation hasn’t affected anything’, so I carry on.

So I’m there, laying out all my best moves and although he remains hard nothing more seems to be even close to happening, this rather confuses me as, not that he’s quick or anything, but I’m actually beginning to seriously ache. I pop my head up, rather confused, and look at him: he doesn’t say anything and just moans slightly as a accidently rub against him: ‘okay, he’s fine, probably just tired or something’. I carry on.

After another long stint I am suddenly hit with a massive bolt of embarrassment, I stop, scutter out of the covers and begin pouting. When asked what’s wrong I very clearly point out that I have been going at him for a ridiculous amount of time and still nothing is happening. Although he tries to convince me that everything is just fine, I am still not impressed.

Then, something odd happens, he begins to pull me on top of him, now, I was not expecting any kind of sexual interaction to happen on my side for quite some time so am quite taken a back! First I tell him I’m worried because of the operation and I don’t want anything bad to happen, but he finally gets his way and I’m bouncing around on top of him.

Now, most of his arm is in a cast. If you have never experienced sex with someone with a crutch, let me tell you, it is hilarious and kind of weird. It’s hilarious because the cast is bouncing around and is so stiff it just doesn’t seem to belong in the situation, also, its quite funny to watch him battle with his reactions to put his arm on me. It’s weird because when he did I almost freaked out from the feel of the cast, also, I was constantly rather nervous about him.

So, sex. Still having sex. STILL having sex. Grace: 2, Jeff: (still) o.

This is when I get panicky, what is wrong with him, I’ve come twice and he’s on 0! This is ridiculous, I must be rubbish! Luckily, he finally accepts its not going to happen and leaves me alone about carrying on.

I try to rationalise this with his operation but to be honest, I consider that quite an ordeal and mope quite a lot afterwards.

Luckily, this story has a happy ending quite late that night. My ego patched, I drifted into a happy sleep; vowing to not to have sexual contact with anyone after an operation again, simply too traumatic.

Grace x