Go on, judge a book by it’s cover; judge this post by the title: It is exactly what it says.

Now, this was NOT some kind of orgy and this party was NOT arranged this way, this is just the story of a bunch of under-age kids having a wee bit much to drink and going a bit nuts.

I’m not exactly sure when this was, but I do know I was in high school. One of my good friends, lets call him Matt, has a massive house, but slightly anal parents. However, these parents are quite frequently out or are taking a trip to somewhere over the weekend so, he has parties, huge parties.

I remember being invited and being very excited, his parties are always fantastic. He’s good with providing alcohol, although, obviously, people do bring their own, his house is massive and hardly anything is off limits, theirs a trampoline and he invites so many people.

A few hours before the party I had to trudge about thirty minutes just to get alcohol which the shop owner would over price for those without id, kind of a no id, add a few quid to the price set up. It was a shop where everyone went because everyone knew they would be served there (it’s closed down now). I don’t remember what I brought, but, by the events which I am about to describe, I’m guessing it was some pretty good shit.

I showed up in shorts and one of my dad’s tops which I’d modified and made quite funky. There where already a lot of people there as I was late to the party, as I am to most things (even though I only lived about 3 minutes away from his house). I don’t particularly remember drinking but I’m pretty sure I was rather drunk as I thought it would be a good idea to go into a room alone with Matt to ‘speak’. Now, this was a very bad idea, you see, Matt was my ex boyfriend who had been one of my best friends and we were now friends again so this next part probably wasn’t my smartest move.

We were in his dad’s office and, like we often did and still occasionally do when we’re drunk, began talking about our relationship. Things got sweet and we started hugging and making out, it was nice and it’s not uncommon for me to make out with someone at a party. We probably made out for a good while before someone walked in unsuspectingly; we jumped apart, but whoever had walked in had guessed what was going on and had walked out. I’m guessing they probably thought more was happening due to the fact that we were ex’s and for some reason I had mascara all down my face (probably from the sweet chat we just had- I’m quite a cryer by the way).

So anyway, we brushed ourselves off and rejoined the rest of the party downstairs. It was pretty much in full swing by now and I’m guessing I had even more alcohol at this point.

Now, this is where it gets fuzzy. One of my best friends was there, lets call her Chelsea, now Chelsea and I shared a love for craziness and partying. I think we were speaking about our general antics when somebody suggested that people take their tops off. Being quite drunk at the time I did so. This unleashed something weird, and I mean shocking weird. As soon as the top came off I began running around and sort of making out with ever boy in my path, half of them I wasn’t even attracted to and one even had a long term girlfriend. Somehow, during this period my shorts also came off.

A fun titbit from the night that I have been told about is that Chelsea and Matt where speaking upstairs and Chelsea, who had also made out with quite a few guys at the party was telling Matt how she didn’t want to be the sluttist girl at the party (there weren’t even that many girls from what I can remember but the ones who where there weren’t really the slutty kind). Now, I do not remember this, but, according to numerous sources, just as she (fully clothed) said that, I run past them (in just my underwear) screaming ‘WAHHEYYYY!’ Well, at least Chelsea didn’t have anything to worry about (for the time being, she got naked pretty soon after).

Now, I do not at all remember the order in which I proceeded to make out with boys in but I’ve been told I made out with EVERY guy at that party. Yes, yes, I know, not my most dignified night.

There was, lets say Lawrence, he, I think is the one I remember the clearest, partly because I think I was with him for the longest and partly because our brief tongue affair was documented all over Facebook. We made out in the garden a LOT, in our underwear, with absolutely everyone around.

Lets say Chris, he was the guy with the girl friend. Our making out session took part in the bathroom.

I made out with Matt again, or was it Chelsea making out with Matt? All I remember is both of us being in the same tiny bathroom, each with a guy. Matt was defiantly one of them (the break up was a good one and quite a while ago by the way, also the relationship wasn’t serious so it was in no way an issue if she did make out with him in the bathroom, regardless, she definitely did at some point that night).

Lets say Zack, Zack was the kind guy that no one really made out with much but I remember coming down the stairs, I think I may actually have been clothed then and him saying ‘You look beautiful’ and me just pouncing on him

Lets say Craig, he was a guy with whom I would always have the same cycle:friends, he confesses his love, awkward, friends, confess love, awkward, friends etc etc. Yeah, he was probably a bad idea.

Lets say Khyl, he gets a bit clingy and desperate when he’s drunk. I remember Matt telling me how he followed me and Chelsea around. Matt told him to stop chasing him as we would then come to him, Matt was right, at least, I definitely did.

Then there was, lets say Leo, now I had made out with a few of these boys before but never Leo. Leo was the best looking and one who did not really make out with people. I remember thinking ‘right, tonight, I shall make out with Leo’. Now, this was executed with my clothes back on, involved me and Chelsea doing a weird dance with a broom of some sort and me literally jumping on top of him (there is a very awkward picture of this as he’s still holding his can of beer behind my back). Regardless, that mission was accomplished.

There are more, but their basically pecks and I don’t really have any stories behind them. I presume I got home okay as I’m able to even document this, but, the party wasn’t quite in the past when my head hit my pillow.

The next day I went over to Matt’s to help him clean

The next day his parents got home

The next day he texted me saying he was in trouble because his mom had found the under-wire of a bra in the bathroom

That day I realised that under-wire was mine

The next day the pictures of the party went up on Facebook. I was rather horrified at my naked drunken antics, but then I saw something even more horrific, possibly the worst thing I could ever see on Facebook: Craig and Lawrence were holding me up and everyone was all smiles, at this point I was just in my underwear. My underwear was black and you could, very easily, see… the fold over wings of my PERIOD PAD! Now, I am not quite sure how I managed not to run away from home and go all Amish at this point but I did and to this day I classify that as an achievement.

Grace x