So, today I have decided that I shall be extreamly productive and sort out my room, ring my grandparents and sort out my student finance for next year. I have even been as strict with myself as to say that at 12pm (in exactly 10 minutes) I shall get my ass of wordpress and not go on until I have rang the student finance people.

I also really want to go out and get drunk tonight after last night’s failed attempt.

Oh, and what I didn’t mention in my earlier post when I was rather drunk after not getting into a club because I couldn’t be bothered to find my British ID and took my Russian one is that Judas decided to put her and my boyfriend as her cover photo on Facebook. Now, I know it’s probably really petty to care but come on, just the two of them all big on her profile, it fucking irritated the shit out of me and I sent my boyfriend a rather seething text message about how horrified I was at this. She’s changed it now. In my mind that means she thought it was fuck off weird too.

Getting out of bed is going to be a right pain in the backside, probably literally as I am rather bruised after going camping a few days ago.

I have also thought up my question of the day!

Question 5: When do you think it is appropriate to say I love you and would you say it first?

Answer 5: I think that saying I love you is hugely special and should not be said the way it often is now a days. I think it should truly mean that the person you are saying it to is your best friend and lover and you see each other being together forever (even if this isn’t realistic you should at least see the possibility, after all, if you really love them wouldn’t you work to make that happen). My current boyfriend sort of said I love you after six months; well, he basically said ‘ I don’t know if I like or love you’ and I pretended to hurt my head on the lift to change the subject as I didn’t know how to react. I mean, reacting to I love you is hard enough but his who;re ‘I don’t know bit’ was just too much! He said it again later and I just couldn’t reciprocate for a few months because I wasn’t ready to say it. Thankfully he let me have the grace period and I finally said it after 8 and a half months together. He did kind of push towards the end but I wanted to say it by then, I was just too scared. I think a lot of that had to do with my ex; we had met in year 8 and said I love you within about two weeks (I said it first, I was overwhelmed by feelings as he was my first proper boyfriend and we had just been telling each other our deepest secrets)- we did end up staying together for about another five years (with a lot of on and offs) but I did realise that we just said it all the time to make the other one happy and a lot of the time we didn’t actually mean it. Now I’m a big believer in waiting. 

Grace x

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