So, after my difficult journey to the pub (which I spoke about in part 1) I finally got there!

A few minutes later some of my friends left so that they could get a stamp for a bar which would be closing later than the one we were in- if they didn’t get a stamp before a certain time they would have to queue and pay to get in.

Anyway, I wasn’t going as I promised my boyfriend I wouldn’t get too drunk and would be home at a respectable time as he wanted to spend a nice night with me: not one when I’m all crazy drunken me. When they left it was just me and one girlfriend, we were chatting and generally having a great time when a random guy approaches us and asks us if he could sit down. Now, the bar was not crowded enough to allow this kind of behavior- I mean, I don’t usually approve of it generally but this time there were literally dozens of seats! However, I didn’t want to flat-out say no so I decided to just raise my eyebrows and give him the ‘are you being serious look’. Now, it’s not just that he wanted to sit down at our table, it was more the fact that he was about twenty years older than me and I suspected that he wouldn’t just sit there talking to his friend (women’s intuition rocks).

Apparently my look of ‘are you being serious?’ was intercepted correctly because he sat down. Unacceptable. We ignored him and basically shut down all his questions. I guess this wouldn’t have been that noteworthy, however, his horrific chat up line was to say that he knew me and we had slept together in a dorm room five years ago.

Now, five years ago I would have barely been fourteen. I really don’t think I was having sex at fourteen. Also, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t doing Economics at Westminster University when I was fourteen. However, when I stated these facts he continued to say that it was, in fact, me who he slept with. My patience was beginning to run low at this point. I had sex for the first time when I was sixteen with my then boyfriend of four years, I have never attended or even been near Westminster University and I do not do Economics as my degree. Oh, and a side note, I do not sleep with random people. I also would not sleep with someone who is so much older than me and looks like he’s had more cocaine than the amount that floats around all the festivals during summer!

He just would not let this one go!

“Okay, whatever, maybe she looked like me.”

“No, it was you.”

“No, it wasn’t. Someone probably looked like me. Also, at my age, I would have changed drastically in five years.”

“It was definitely you.”

“Fine. It was me. Now I know your name and what you look like I shall be contacting the police. I would have been fourteen five years ago.”

I then proceeded to show him my passport ( I had it at the pub as that is my only current form of ID).

He got up and RAN and I mean RAN! It was brilliant!

Of course, it wasn’t me who he had slept with all those years ago.

I guess this is post number 3 in which I can say: men are idiots.

Grace x