Right, you have the career you want and it’s fantastic: you feel the need to bring it up in front of your unemployed friend

You’re boyfriend is a wonder: you feel the need to bring it up in front of your single friend.

You did great in your university exams: you feel the need to bring it up in front of your flunking friend.

…And the list just goes on. Now, I cannot say that I am not guilty of this, in fact I would actually say that I am a person who does this. It’s awful and it does not portray me as a good person in the slightest but can anyone sympathize? You have what you want but you feel the need to mention it to people who don’t. I think I’m particularly guilty in the boyfriend department, I have this thing where I say things which sound bad about him (e.g. he leaves his shit fucking everywhere), when I actually mean it in a very endearing way.

Does it mean I’m insecure?
…Or am I just an awful human being?

I think I do this most to someone who used to be a really close friend of mine, she dated my boyfriend for about 2 months- they broke up and a few months later I was dating him. She’s single and her last boyfriend left her for some random girl who he had also cheated on her with for months. I don’t know why I need to slide things about mine and Jeff’s happiness, maybe I’m like a dog, marking territory and all that. I don’t know why I do it but I do, maybe I just want her to know that what they had isn’t anywhere close to what we have. I know that’s pathetic and it doesn’t matter- is this a way in which I portray us as being so much more. I know it’s stupid to even compare: I mean, 2 months to 2 years where we have been able to stay together through a whole year of university and have lived together all summer.

Maybe I’m just insecure.

Grace x

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