When you’re promoted to can expect the firm to spend more money on you, you can expect to be treated with greater respect and you expect to feel like you have risen in your job. The opposite goes to being demoted and this can leave you with truly undesirable feelings. Now, the same can also apply to relationships- for example when you both agree to be exclusive, have your first anniversary, move in together ect- in these scenarios you would imagine yourself to be progressing within the relationship, so hence, better presents (Okay, I think it sounds a little golddigger-ish but I’m simply pointing out the similarities between a work promotion and the length someone is in relationship for), greater respect and compromise and you feel like the relationship is evolving and isn’t stagnant.

Now, we are all aware of the changes that can happen with longevity, people become comfortable, not as much effort is thought to be needed and sometimes it can actually feel like you’re being demoted. Some say this happens after a few years of marriage and some say it’s when you move in with someone: I have a different scenario completely and discovered just how much I had been demoted yesterday…

Readers of this blog will know that my boyfriend of two years was my best friend for about 3 years before we began dating, now, during this time he was attentive, kind and considerate- it was fantastic being his friend and I noticed how he was actually an amazing friend to a lot of people. He’s a very friend orientated guy. Now, when we began dating I thought that we’d still be friends and there would be that underlying friendship in our relationship. I guess there is but yesterday I realized just how far after everyone else I come- I came after someone who he had gone to first school with (and never spoke to). I just wish that he would treat me with the same kindness and respect that he does his friends, after all- am I not also his friend? And if not, then I guess I have been demoted. Would he do this to every girl or is it just more acceptable as I’m his friend? But then, if he does it because I was his friend then how come everyone else seems to come first? I don’t understand why being a girlfriend means you get demoted in the way that you are treated and not promoted. I am troubled (I’ve been watching way too much Ally McBeal, that’s a John Cage reference by the way).

I think that you should constantly feel promoted in a relationship, however, I guess that’s just not possible so I think the most important thing to do is just make sure your partner is being promoted on the emotional level all the time because, realistically, the other stuff really doesn’t matter.

Grace x

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