When drunk, apparently I become a porn star… Wednesday, Oct 10 2012 

I have neglected my blog I know, I’ve actually been pretty pathetic with it. I thought I would actually be a lot better with it when my boyfriend wasn’t living with me but I guess I’ve just been busy- at least ya’ll know I’ve been having a good time. Anyway, the first story that I’m going to share today happened a few days ago when I visited my boyfriend at his university. I went up on the Thursday and we went out on Friday night. Now, usually, we end up getting into some sort of drunk argument but Friday went without a hitch and was an absolutely great night! We got so so soooo drunk. So drunk even that when we came back to his he said that he was too drunk to actually get his dick up- being the trooper I am I decided this was not a statement but more, a challenge. So off I went with my usual hand and mouth motions. I’m not exactly sure what happened next but, well, things got pretty dirty.

He was crouching so his balls were literally completely covering my face and I was under him sucking away, during this he started to toss himself off which I thought was ridiculously hot so told him to carry on when he made me do it. I kept stopping him whenever I felt that he was close as I just wanted it to carry on. I don’t know what it was but it was the loss of inhibitions that I really was enjoying, I mean, he was telling me the things he wanted to do and how good things felt and I just loved it.

I was licking his balls all over while he groaned. I liked the fact that he had the control to slip his dick into my mouth when he wanted to or push me down when he wanted some more ball lovin’. This continued for a while until he said ‘I want to cum on your face.’ This was hot. He had never said that before and had never done it, I mean, mouth, tits, pussy etc. he’d done, but never actually on my face. I didn’t hear him the first time he said it so I asked him to repeat himself. I think a little of his inhibition wore off then as he rolled off me and started to cuddle…’what?’ I asked ‘why have you gone away? You just said you wanted to cum on my face’ (I am never ever this forward, and neither is he, I don’t even know how he managed to ask).

‘Well, you can’t really ask someone that…’ Comes his reply

‘You can ask me anything’ (I believe this is what broke down any kind of ‘treat her like a lady’ premise he may have held).

So then began my one woman porn star act. I got dick slapped, yes, on my face, dick slapped repeatedly and was actually informed the next morning that I enjoyed it as I was making noises…now, in this scenario I do believe I could have been making noises for more porn star quality or, the more likely option, I think I enjoyed him taking so much charge. Guys in charge are haaawwwtttt!

Anyway, this continued for quite some time, I think I got very little attention that night but I did learn that I quite like balls in my face and that my point about drunk sex has been solidified even more.

Grace x

 

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Review: Flavoured Condoms Saturday, Sep 22 2012 

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First things first: I do not use condoms. Now, before I am chastised for this I would like to point out that I have only had sex with my ex of five years and my current boyfriend (both were virgins). Hence, the need for condoms seems rather moot. I’ve always been on the pill and my trust and paranoia issues are not as high as for me to think that I could have caught something off these fellas.

However, the various pills and injections I have had do sometimes make me rather hormonal so me and my current boyfriend decided to give condoms a go. It was horrific. It felt weird, he said the sensitivity was decreased, I thought it felt really unnatural and the whole problem of disposing them (we both lived with our parents at the time) seemed absolutely treacherous! In other words- hitherto, my experience with condoms has been limited to a brief attempt a few months ago (yes, we quickly took it off and had sex the good ol’ bareback way)!

Anyway, this review falls on a topic which I knew even less of until yesterday. You see, yesterday one our good friends was leaving so we went over to his for pizza, weed, alcohol; basically, whatever you wanted to do. By the end of the night it was me, slightly tipsy, the guy and my boyfriend. We were chilling and discussing random topics- anyway, somehow the topic became condoms and their different variations and me and my boyfriend were offered a condom in whatever flavor I wanted: I picked apple.

So, there I am all excited over giving a blow job to something which is going to taste like candy!

Soon we leave the guy’s house and head over to ours. Now, I’m a big fan of new things so am well on this condom business. I give my boyfriend a bit of a hand job and tell him to slip the condom on: as you can imagine, this in itself takes time. This, I will not fault the product for though- it was only our second condom to put on him so I guess that’s more our of a short-coming of ours rather than durex!

So, finally the damned thing is on. I start away with the usual blow job antics. However, my first problem. I usually use a hand and my mouth during a blow job but I don’t want to like hurt him by doing something weird with the condom. Just mouth it is then.

Also, his dick is currently green. This can’t be serious.

Now, literally about five seconds later I realize there is actually no apple flavor left. I go a bit deeper and get some more flavor, however, that soon disappears too.

So, there I am, sucking a completely plain and plastic feeling dick. It doesn’t even have the warmth and feeling of a penis and it just feels completely plain without any of the sensitive parts I can usually feel with my tongue. This just feels plain boring.

I try to take it off and end up hurting him. Finally we get it off and WOW, I am so in the mood for giving a blow job; simply for the fact that I would quite like to feel real dick and not something which feels like I’m licking some kind of plastic wrapped banana. There is also a tiny bit of apple flavor residue (obviously this doesn’t last long, was still nice at the time though).

When he’s cumed and relaxed in my mouth I pop up to snuggle.

“So much better without.” He says

“I know right. It’s not even my dick and I prefer it without!”

So there you have it.

I think condoms are a hassle; a waste of money and don’t exactly do any favors for the sexual experience! I mean, obviously they have their merits such as child control and STI prevention but it just seems that for someone in a relationship there are far too many cons to even consider it!

Grace x

What on earth has been going on? PENIS apparently! Sunday, Sep 16 2012 

Well, to be quite honest, nothing out of the ordinary. I’ve just been curled up with my boyfriend since our fight about him inviting Chelsea to stay over (yes, with other people, but still).

Me and my boyfriend also had a fight three nights ago after a boozy night at the pub: neither of us have any idea what it was about so we’re calling it quits.

The day before yesterday we had a bbq, I got tired and fell asleep before everyone left- he woke me up and we cuddled.

Oh! I almost forgot the most important part. PENIS!

Okay, I think this part needs a big of a back story…

You see, me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years and were friends for two years before that- anyway, by this point I am rather comfortable with him seeing me completely naked in the light and everything; he does not seem to share the same sentiments. He’s always puts the covers over his manhood and always slips right back into his boxers after sex. I don’t know, he seems to want it covered up or at the very least in the dark.

However, there has been a breakthrough in the last few days! Now, he has only had one bath with me, and that was after very much pestering, but a few days ago he actually told me we were having a bath together! Now, he’s even usually rather funny about having fuck loads of bubbles but in today he seemed completely fine and his dick was happily floating around in the bath for all to see:

A) He’s a bit weird

B) He’s finally got rid of a bad case of herpies

Bizarre.

However, I am glad he seems to feel more comfortable, I quite like penises and would like for his to be allowed out more. Balls I think he’s more comfortable with. Either way, he was rewarded with a blow job.

Grace x

Tonight Thursday, Aug 23 2012 

My boyfriend should be home in a matter of minutes and I am so damn excited, well, apart from the fact that we have to get up ridiculously early tomorrow to go to the doctors to have his hand checked over after the operation he had on Tuesday. Nevertheless, I am so excited. You see, the past few days we have lounged about doing nothing and both looking like shit and being upset about his arm. Today, I have showered, conditioned, shaved and straightened; I always feel so much happier when I look my best. 

My plan is to pounce, as soon as he gets through that door he is getting pounced on. If he’s not in the mood, so god help me, I will get him in the fucking mood (ha, unintentional pun, high five to myself). Now, one of my previous posts described the awkward sex we had due to his arm, pain killers, antibiotics and anesthisia. These shall not conquer me today. Today I will not worry about it and enjoy myself. I am also in a ridiculously good mood which tends to rub off on him. 

I am so excited! 

Right, I am off to prepare.

If he’s good he might just get a good morning surprise (if you get what I mean)

I hope I’m slightly sore during my next post

Grace x