There’s jizz on my bed. I wasn’t in the room. Wednesday, Oct 3 2012 

I think the title pretty much speaks for itself…however, I shall continue to tell the full story of how this scarring experience occurred…

Last night me and a load of friends went out, one of them was a housemate of mine. Anyway, we went to a party at the university students union and got ridiculously drunk, like seriously, I didn’t even know what the fuck was going on. Towards the end of the night me and my good friend, lets call him Sean, went back to mine as we wanted to continue raving somehow; this didn’t happen and we ended up getting pizza and trying to watch random shit on my computer.

My housemate soon arrived as I think she left before us but was in a different house. Anyway, she came into my room and we all watched stuff together. Then, for some reason that none of us can fathom we ended up in her room and were about to go to bed, now, this was a bit weird as it was the three of us in the bed. I fell asleep and woke up the next morning.

I was so fucking confused as she had re-arranged and tidied up her room so it was so different from the day before so when I woke up I was so completely disorientated and didn’t know where the fuck I was. However, I soon came to my senses and realized, now, I also realized that they were not in the bed, I didn’t think too much of it but did have a funny feeling. It was early and honestly I just wanted to get into my bed and go to sleep so I went upstairs to my room. Now, those of you who have read my blog about our bedroom doors (https://overthinkingmind.wordpress.com/2012/10/01/getting-locked-out-back-to-school-disco-and-being-a-lot-more-independant-than-i-origionally-anticipated/) will be aware that for some reason we have the kind of doors which lock automatically when they close. This was actually probably really lucky as I may have casually walked into my room if I didn’t have to knock to get in. When I knocked I heard voices and awkward giggling. That’s when I knew. They had done stuff in my room! I then had to do the awkward thing of waiting outside my room as they scrambled for their clothes.

Anyway, finally they opened the door and literally ran out with excuses and apologies, I just walked into my room saying this was far too awkward already and I was just going to go back to sleep. I heard my guy friend leave through the front door. I headed for my bed and was just about to get in when I saw it…the stains! There were very very clear wet patches on my bed! What the fuck!

I was in the process of being in shock when I got a knock on my bedroom door, Sean was back, he had forgotten his shoes and in the rush had simply run out of the house without them! Now, I wasn’t mad or anything but I jokingly began to shout at him about their being ‘fucking jizz’ on my bed! He said hurried apologies and ran out with one shoe on and one in his hand!

Now, I bet you’re thinking this can’t get much worse…it can.

So anyway, I’m still bloody tired and it is ridiculously early so I decide to get into bed after putting a cover over the guilty patches. I then began drifting to sleep. Now, I hate when there is something in my bed and I always move it because it fucking bugs me so when I felt something in the bed I proceeded to find whatever it was and remove it…it was my housemate’s underwear! Ugh! How awkward.

I threw the convicted underwear out of my bed and tried to get to sleep, however, peace alluded me and I ended up giving up and going downstairs. There, I find my housemate frantically running around looking for her stuff (leaving out of absolute and complete embarrassment), I flounce over to her and place the underwear I had brought down with me into her bag and go into the living room- here I find my other housemate, eyes wide and clearly dying to know what happened, I’m also absolutely killing to share my horrific story. Luckily the offending housemate leaves and we are free to gossip.

Soon after my other housemate comes down and is really confused why she heard a guy leaving my room in the early hours of the morning (I have a boyfriend of two years), so we get to tell her the story too!

Today I also remembered that the housemate who christened my bed also got with my other friend early on that night! She also thinks the affair in the bed meant a lot more than it did. My guy friend is buying me new sheets and is forever to give me drinks in clubs.

Now, the key elements of this story I believe are

A) I didn’t fucking get to christen my own bed with my own boyfriend

B) We tried to flip the mattress and found there were period stains on the other side (me and my housemate discussed which we thought was worse for me to sleep on, I’m still rather undecided, what do you guys think?)

C) The girl literally had to do nothing! I got the guy to the house.

D) She got laid and I got a pizza from him- I’m like the fucking fat ugly friend in this scenario

E) Why didn’t she simply wake me up and tell me to leave her room? She could have even said I was snoring or something, hence, it wouldn’t seem too weird.

Regardless, I do feel rather scarred by this experience and hope it befalls no one else. Also, I would really like to convey the message that I would have liked to christen my bed and if you have a bedroom in the same house as the one you are at it is ridiculously odd to have sex in another persons bedroom.

Traumatized I now need to sleep in this bed. On the bright side, I do love how things like this happen and are just damn hilarious!

Grace x

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Getting locked out, back to school disco and being a lot more independant than I origionally anticipated Monday, Oct 1 2012 

1st by title and also my first issue today was that I got locked out of my bedroom…not my house, my bedroom! Basically, the doors we have for our bedrooms lock automatically if they are closed (like the typical front door), hence, when I tried to pop to the bathroom and the wind smashed my door shut I was left in the corridor (strangely our front door does not lock automatically and it needs to be locked on both leaving and entering the house). Anyway, this really annoyed me as I had a long list of things to do today. Also, I like to have some time by myself and I am not a fan of constantly being downstairs with housemates. I mean, of course they are lovely people but a person needs their space you know. Anyway, I called the landlord and he said he would be over within the hour, he then rang back to say he would be there in seven whole hours! Finally, that time has arrived, well, he was late, but luckily I have finally got into my room and am so damn happy!

I also can’t wait to go out tonight, I love the ‘back to school’ disco theme where everyone dresses up in school uniform! Also, I am quite intrigued to see what it’s going to be like, I mean, it’s a freshers event where everyone is essentially desperately trying to make friends, being a happy second year is going to be quite nice…this does in no way mean I am not going to get absolutely off the handle drunk!

Lastly, I feel very content and happy with myself. I thought I’d be a wreck being away from my boyfriend after living with him all summer- however, I am thoroughly enjoying the company of others, my own space and life in general! This makes me feel really good about myself as it is always nice to know that although you love someone you are able to function without them. I think it’s also quite healthy that we have this week apart with our friends and getting back into the swing of things…this does in no way mean I am not crazy excited about seeing him on the weekend!

Grace x

Did I pick the wrong house? Monday, Oct 1 2012 

Last night I walked into pre-drinks and everyone literally jumped up and pushed people out of the way to hug me. It was the best thing ever and it was absolutely amazing that so many people wanted to spend time with me!

Meanwhile, two of my flatmates had decided, last minute, that they weren’t going out and didn’t even bother to tell me. The one who did come left early.

I’d be allowed to smoke in the other house and the people there seem to appreciate me way more- why did I choose to live with these other people who hang about doing nothing all day and don’t seem all that bothered about me?

Anyway, they want to go to a club tomorrow but the other people are going to a different one, I’m going to go to the different one as I just think it will be heaps more fun and I won’t be having to leave when I feel my night hasn’t even begun yet!

I miss my halls from last year, they were a fucking ball! I don’t know, maybe it’s just the first few days and I’m just settling in. At least the other people only live about two minutes away so I guess I can go there anytime. It just sucks to not be comfortable in your own house.

On a brighter note, tomorrow is going to be AMAZING, and I get to go out with one of my guy best-friends who I didn’t get to see all summer and who is absolutely fantastic. Also, I’m really looking forward to seeing my boyfriend on Friday which I’m sure will be great, I do miss having him around all the time but it’s also lovely to be in a house which is mine.

Tomorrow I’m going to go do some food shopping and get myself more together.

Also, I have a gecko and well, he was car sick on the way here! How weird is that! I thought he was dying and his insides were coming out and nearly lobbed him out of the window! Luckily I realized it was vomited up worms. How odd though, I didn’t know geckos could throw up, I know that may sound really stupid but you don’t exactly expect that!

I am so excited for tomorrow! Also, I feel like I’m actually doing something with my life as I am going to sort out my university lectures and get some folders together. I am really excited for tomorrow!

Grace x

10 day challenge! Friday, Sep 7 2012 

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Now, I found this on Google images as I quite enjoyed the 30 day challenge I did in about two days!

As per tradition I shall do this one in just one post! Here it goes!

Ten Secrets:

1) I liked my boyfriend whilst he was going out with my best friend, awful I know

2) I still haven’t told a lot of my close friends about a hugely close death in my family, I don’t  really like to share stuff like that

3) I cheated on my ex boyfriend of over five years (on and off) several times, again, awful I know!

4) I am hugely jealous of pretty much every girl my boyfriend talks to- pathetic, I know.

5) When I plucked my first nipple hair I felt like a Chewbacca and nearly cried.

6) I always want to have a massive accident, like death threatening just to see how people would react. Awful? Insecure? Stupid?

7) Sometimes I don’t do clothes washing or have a shower for absolutely ages- disgusting.

8) I’ve slightly thrown up on my boyfriend’s dick. Yes, I know horrific. He still doesn’t know, it was a tiny bit, I wiped it away, sent him to get me juice and febrezed the shit out of the room. In my defence I was really hungover and he pushed my head down too much.

9) I know this is horrific but I don’t think I could deal with having a disabled child. I know that is completely dreadful but I just don’t know how I would cope!

10) I get really anxious about really silly things such as my boyfriend seeming to be a bit off or a friend not responding to a text for a while, I get easily worried I did something wrong.

Nine Loves:

1) My family

2) My boyfriend

3) My cat

4) My gecko

5) University

6) Sex

7) Cuddling

8) Those websites that let you watch practically anything online

9) (I know I’m cheating a bit here but…) Friends, smoking, going out, drinking

Eight Fears:

1) Spiders

2) Getting broken up with

3) Doing something ridiculously embarrassing like peeing myself in public

4) Being shouted at and general confrontations (I hate it, it scares me and I’m highly likely to cry)

5) Cancer

6) Not being able to have children or for them to have any kind of disabilities

7) Never getting married to someone I am crazy about or them cheating on me

8) Rape

Seven Wants:

1) To get married and have a happy family

2) To have a job I extreamly enjoy

3) To stay with my boyfriend as long as I want to and as long as I love him and he still treats me the way he does

4) My boyfriend to have less female friends

5) For my family to be healthy

6) For my little brother to have everything he wants in life

7) For my dad to meet someone he loves again

Six Places:

1) London: I live here now

2) Russia: I was born here, my grandparents live here, it is still one of my favourite places!

3) Leicester: I go to university here and I adore it!

4) Furteventura (Canary Islands): The first place me and my boyfriend went to on holiday, just the two of us.

5) Ireland: Where every boyfriend and guy I’d got with before my current boyfriend had some kind of roots. This is also the place my boyfriend said we were going instead of the Canary Islands right up until we were at the airport!

6) America: Where I desperately want to go ASAP.

Five Foods:

1) Taco’s: Me and my boyfriend eat these constantly, he cooks them bloody amazing!

2) Noodles: The only thing I can make nearly as good as my boyfriend, and the only thing I can afford to eat when I’m done living like a rock-star for the best part of the month!

3) Spaghetti-Bolognese: We used to have a night for this when I was younger and I just love it! I don’t really like the chunks though, I like it meaty, with juice, and heaps of pasta.

4) Chicken Wrap: You can get these amazing ones with salad and some amazing sauce at a kebab shop near me; it’s cheap and tastes fucking amazing, I get it pretty much at every opportunity!

5) Chicken Bhuna: My favourite Indian dish.

Four Books:

1) ‘Orix and Crake’ by Margaret Atwood: Easily one of my favourite books!

2) ‘Pride and Prejustice’ by Jane Austen: One of my favourite Austen books and the one which got me into classics

3) ‘The Dutchess’ by Amanda Foreman: Brilliant book about how women were crucial to political campaigns even in the 17th century, a story with factual evidence about Georgiana, the Dutchess of Devonshire.

4) ‘Winnie the Pooh’ by A.A. Mills: Come on, a childhood classic like this had to be mentioned, such a beautiful book.

Three Films

1) The Butterfly Effect

2) The Notebook

3) Hannibal

Two Songs:

1) ‘Wherever You Will Go’ by The Calling

2) ‘Fireflies’ by Owl City

One Picture (of yourself)

I really don’t think so! At least not yet…

But here’s a funny one I chuckled over for ages:

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Grace x

Being productive is hard! Friday, Sep 7 2012 

So, today I have decided that I shall be extreamly productive and sort out my room, ring my grandparents and sort out my student finance for next year. I have even been as strict with myself as to say that at 12pm (in exactly 10 minutes) I shall get my ass of wordpress and not go on until I have rang the student finance people.

I also really want to go out and get drunk tonight after last night’s failed attempt.

Oh, and what I didn’t mention in my earlier post when I was rather drunk after not getting into a club because I couldn’t be bothered to find my British ID and took my Russian one is that Judas decided to put her and my boyfriend as her cover photo on Facebook. Now, I know it’s probably really petty to care but come on, just the two of them all big on her profile, it fucking irritated the shit out of me and I sent my boyfriend a rather seething text message about how horrified I was at this. She’s changed it now. In my mind that means she thought it was fuck off weird too.

Getting out of bed is going to be a right pain in the backside, probably literally as I am rather bruised after going camping a few days ago.

I have also thought up my question of the day!

Question 5: When do you think it is appropriate to say I love you and would you say it first?

Answer 5: I think that saying I love you is hugely special and should not be said the way it often is now a days. I think it should truly mean that the person you are saying it to is your best friend and lover and you see each other being together forever (even if this isn’t realistic you should at least see the possibility, after all, if you really love them wouldn’t you work to make that happen). My current boyfriend sort of said I love you after six months; well, he basically said ‘ I don’t know if I like or love you’ and I pretended to hurt my head on the lift to change the subject as I didn’t know how to react. I mean, reacting to I love you is hard enough but his who;re ‘I don’t know bit’ was just too much! He said it again later and I just couldn’t reciprocate for a few months because I wasn’t ready to say it. Thankfully he let me have the grace period and I finally said it after 8 and a half months together. He did kind of push towards the end but I wanted to say it by then, I was just too scared. I think a lot of that had to do with my ex; we had met in year 8 and said I love you within about two weeks (I said it first, I was overwhelmed by feelings as he was my first proper boyfriend and we had just been telling each other our deepest secrets)- we did end up staying together for about another five years (with a lot of on and offs) but I did realise that we just said it all the time to make the other one happy and a lot of the time we didn’t actually mean it. Now I’m a big believer in waiting. 

Grace x

I am fucking annoyed Thursday, Sep 6 2012 

So today I attempt to go clubbing.

I bring my Russian passport (as I always do as I use my British one way more so it would be more of a hassle if I lost it)

Apparently you now need to back up foreign ID with another form of ID. Now, I do not bring my bank card as I end up spending way too much and I don’t bring my student ID as they are expensive to replace

An ID is a fucking ID

My boyfriend who is out with his friends is also being a fucking tool and not even bothering to help.

I’m drunk. I can’t be bothered. Fuck my life. My fucking taxi cost loads as well. Just fuck off world. I’m going to chain smoke and binge eat. The end.

Grace x

Some more fantastic! Tuesday, Aug 21 2012 

I stopped doing the last one as I felt it was getting a bit long, when it was published I realised it wasn’t at all! I’m really enjoying this question business, if you want the full list and where it came from just go on the post named ‘Fantastic’ there’s a link to the blogger who had it on their page
6. Write thirty interesting facts about yourself.
1) I can speak fluent Russian 2) I have a weird growth growing on my foot which feels like an extra bone 3) I have my boyfriend’s name tattooed on the inside of my right foot (‘ Well, this seemed like a good idea’ is the title of that post) 4) I have a gecko which I bought because I was bored one day 5) I love reading and Margaret Atwood’s ‘Orix and Crake’ is my favourite book 6) I don’t leave clubs, I get thrown out of clubs 7) I’ve been arrested for trying to beat up a guy who was about 6’5 when I was drunk (I’m 5’4) 8) I used to do a lot of cross country running 9) I get on significantly better with girls than I do guys 10) One of my back teeth is split in half because one of the recent times I went clubbing a group of guys fighting fell onto me and smashed it and I haven’t been to the dentist yet 11) I had sex for the first time when I was 16 and it was on Christmas Eve 12) I’m a bit of a private nudist, by which I mean I don’t really wear clothes when I’m by myself or with the boyfriend 13) I’ve been told I have a weirdly high sex drive 14) When I was little I cracked my head open while chasing our pet parrot 15) I would love to present one of those historical documentaries, but not one of the boring ones 16) Even when the fridge is stacked full of yummy food I prefer the 11p noodles from Tesco’s 17) I never liked Indian food until I worked in an Indian restaurant for 3 months (after this time I was fired, more on this in a different post I promise its hilarious) 18) (Not going to lie, getting a bit stuck now) I’m allergic to many many many things (cats, feathered pillows, dust, dogs, some creams, that paste you can put on your legs to make your hair fall out, the list just goes on and on) 19) I love reading in the toilet, even when I’m not using it, I’m not entirely sure why 20) I have broken many electrical devises due to bringing them into the bathroom while I wash 21) I can blow really good smoke rings 22) I can be a wide variety of personalities when drunk, for example: angry, loving, horny, bitchy etc. 23) When I got my A-level results (ABB) and realised I wasn’t going to get into the universities I had applied to I got rather drunk and had to call various other universities in a bit of a drunken stupor, somehow I still managed to get into a very good one 24) When drawing stick men mine always seem to have penises as I make their bodies too long and put their legs too high up 25) When I was younger I used to think I could sing and wanted to be a pop star, one night I had my headphones in and must of been singing away (beautifully I believe) when my dad burst shouting “are you all right why were you screaming” 26) I was too terrified to use tampons until a few months ago 27) I fantasise/ daydream a lot… I really hope some of those come true! 28) Somehow, my current boyfriend has managed to make me like days in bed hugging way more than going out 29) I want to get married and have kids in my early 20’s 30) BLOGGING AND READING BLOGS IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!