Explosion Monday, Dec 24 2012 

Yesterday me and some friends went to a pub, my boyfriend was amongst the group that went.

He had made a pub quiz for us all to do and when the pub closed decided to carry on doing it outside.

I was freezing and made a fuss about us just going home as I hadn’t slept the night before; was ridiculously cold; and just believed the night was over.

He still continued with the quiz and insisted I stayed when I tried to leave even thought I said he could just come home after me.

Anyway, we walked home in complete silence with me putting my headphones on.

When we got home he gave me a kiss on the head and said bye- apparently he was going to his dads.

He walked off and after having a little cry on the street I followed him.
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I think the above picture is the only way to describe what happened next…

He completely exploded about me always wanting to get my own way and being weird about him being friends with girls. He then refused to come back to mine.

It was a truly horrific night with a lot of crying and I genuinely thought we were breaking up.

Finally, he came back home.

I was so tired and a bit drunk and kept falling asleep and thinking of Pokemon during the conversation.

We fought about me not liking him being friends with girls and I said I got jealous of any girl spending more time with him than I do- he said no girl does. I said I didn’t like the way some of his friendships were.

The argument ended for him in me saying I would chill about girls and wouldn’t be so pushy.

I think this is definitely one of the most horrific arguments we’ve had.

We went to Christmas lunch at his and he says everything is fine and we’re okay and he loves me. I worry that he’ll change his mind.

I hate that I don’t get to see him till the day after Boxing Day- consequently that is also his birthday.

I’m guessing this Christmas isn’t going to be particularly great.

Grace x

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I really want to do something tonight… Sunday, Sep 16 2012 

I have discovered that I’m quite an unhappy person alone, I don’t know if that means I’m really sociable or just really uncomfortable with myself. I hate being alone and I hate going to bed without my boyfriend unless I’m rather drunk from a night out…again: Loving girlfriend or needy phyco?

I’m not really sure. Nothing much is happening tonight and I guess that’s probably a good thing; I haven’t read much in ages and I’m rather behind on my blogging. I can spend time with my little brother and get a really good nights sleep. I should probably tidy up too, it’s getting a bit ridiculous now.

My gecko needs some loving and I really want to have a long bath.

For now I am off to see Paranorman with my little brother- keep your fingers crossed that it’ll be good. Well, last time I went to the cinema with him (he’s 9) we saw the Lorax and I cried my eyes out. Lets hope I keep it together and it’s still a good film- having a hungover breakdown over watching Lion King with my boyfriend yesterday means there have probably been enough tears shed on films as of late!

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Grace x

 

 

Continuation of what happens when curiosity gets the better of you Monday, Sep 10 2012 

So, my last post ( https://overthinkingmind.wordpress.com/2012/09/10/i-guess-it-was-inevitable-that-i-would-open-this-can-of-worms/ ) was all about me finding a message from my boyfriend (Jeff, if you’ve been reading) to a girl (Chelsea, if you’ve been keeping up). Yes, yes this was in a group not the two of them or anything but after my previous reaction to it I just thought it was fucking ridiculous!

Anyway, I texted him saying that I was ridiculously angry at him and he should be at mine in the morning.

He replied with a fucking ‘? x.’ How, fucking caring of him

I then told him to fuck off and said that I had just got a text from someone saying that he had asked Chelsea to stay over (yes, yes, I know, I hacked his account and that’s how I found out but I just knew if I said that the argument would turn into him shouting at me about that so I improvised, apparently someone told me and ‘I promised I wouldn’t tell him who it was to avoid drama’…I think for someone who had just come back from the pub that is fucking impressive). 

He said that he had invited a group of people (not me, how fucking lovely…all our friends are mutual). Also, something I just realised: Chelsea said she wouldn’t stay over because she saw how upset I got (what a bitch), then again, what can I expect from someone who swore on her mum’s life she wouldn’t have sex with my ex boyfriend and I found out they did within a week of us breaking up (slut). 

Anyway there were a few more texts in which I explained that he knew he hurt me before so why would he do it again and he kept saying it was in a group so it was fine.

I got bored of this and told him to ring me. He did.

Now, this phone call was just a fucking mess, he was tired, he wasn’t taking me seriously, he thought I was over reacting. It just kept getting worse and worse and eventually he had the nerve to say that he was angry with ME. For fucks sake…what on earth did I do?

He always says that I start the arguments…yes, because I don’t ever give you reason to start them!

I ended up begging him to start walking towards mine. I know it’s pathetic but I begged and begged him to start walking. He said it wasn’t always his job to make me feel better (well, if you cause the hurt, yes it fucking is) and that he couldn’t be bothered because he was in bed (yes, and I was completely awake and not in bed at 2am, really?)

I begged for ages. I even gave a lovely speech with tears and little catchphrases I know he finds cute.

He said no.

It was a definitive no.

He said I could get a taxi to his or I could go there tomorrow (that would be today)

I said no, that wasn’t the point. I had this image of us walking towards each other, speeding up and finally running into an embrace. I’d cry and he’d hold me. We would make up.

This is the first night we have ever gone to bed angry at each other in two years. 

He said he would ring me tomorrow.

I said not to. 

It was meant to be a statement rather than something he would actually do. Goddamnit I am NOT ringing him though! 

I hate that he doesn’t care.

I’m not sure what’s going on with us.

I can’t wait to get drunk today.

Grace x

The night before camping! Sunday, Sep 2 2012 

Hey guys, so, yesterday I went on the bar crawl I was all on about, it was pretty good except Judas got rather moody for some reason, I don’t really know or care to be honest.

Anyway, today we were going to go buy all the stuff we needed to go camping and Judas rings me up at about 11am- Now, after a night out that in itself is rather unreasonable. I pick up and she starts yelling at me like proper YELLING about where she should get her tent, what was going on and all these bloody questions!  Now, you would think that a university student with a car would be capable of getting a tent, especially since we all live so close to a town centre!

Now, I try to reply calmly that I am not even awake and in no way know what is going on. Then she gets really angry and starts screaming even more that I organised it and am not making the plan go to shit:

A) I did not organise the trip, my boyfriend did

B) She is so far up his arse she would never shout or even talk in any way which wasn’t pathetic to him

C) No one else got shouted at, out of the seven of us going I knew exactly what they all knew.

So, I get off the phone after she screams some more and start crying- yes, pathetic I know but I am absolutely rubbish with people shouting at me; I just cannot deal with that AT ALL- my boyfriend is a bit rubbish in the comforting department and tries to make up all these excuses for her: however, as updated in this blog this is now the THIRD time she has been out of order with me for no fault of my own, she can’t have a bloody excuse for each of those times.

A few minutes later she texts saying that

she’s not going camping. She sends this to my boyfriend, now, as crazy as I may sound saying this but I think it was just for attention. I honestly think she did it so she would be persuaded to go, this is further backed up by the fact that when she got no reply from him she suddenly texts saying ‘what’s the plan for today then?’ I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T GOING, I WAS SO BLOODY HAPPY. The thing is, I have truly taken a  very negative view of her, I mean, I think she’s controlling, meddling and just plain mean!

She rang me and my boyfriend several times. We ignored all the calls.

She was in charge of getting tents for everyone with a mate who’s also going: she didn’t get shit and for some reason stalked us to the shop where we were getting food. She then dropped the mate off and left. I didn’t speak to her the whole time she was there. He said that apparently she was on the phone the whole day trying to find someone who would go in her place.

This made me so happy.

However, she then texted another friend telling him to bring lots of cigarettes.

Can she just stop doing things for attention and decide if she’s bloody going, it’s not hard.

She also refuses to give us money for the food and alcohol we bought for everyone.

I hope she doesn’t go to be honest. I think it would be an absolutely amazing trip if she didn’t, if she does I know I’ll just be so on edge and we’ll end up having a fight and that will just ruin it for us and the others.

I really think she has a hidden agenda. I just need to find it.

Anyway, fingers crossed she doesn’t go!

I’ll try to keep you guys posted during my camping stint!

In other news:

Question 2: If you had to be any animal but have the capacity of a human mind which animal would you be?

Answer 2: I think I would want to be something ferocious like a lioness as I would then have incredible strength plus the intelligence of a human. However, thinking about it, if I was an animal I’d probably want to change sex as well as species as then I would be the head of some amazing tribe as I would formulate tactics that were just incredible for animals to do! I wouldn’t want to be hunted by humans though?

Leave your responses guys!

I will reply to the last ones, I think I hear my boyfriend getting out of the bath though so I am rather rushed at the moment!

I MISS BLOGGING MORE!

Grace x

He’s coming over Monday, Aug 27 2012 

So, my boyfriend rang.

He’s locked out of his dad’s so he’s coming over to mine now as he was coming tomorrow anyway.

I told him how angry I was about what my ‘friend’ said.

He said he thought that she just wanted to spend time with everyone so wanted him to get off the phone.

Well, making someone cry to achieve that is just disgusting. I also don’t think she meant what she said as innocently as she said. I think she was being a bitch. 

So, he’s coming over.

I’m in a bit of a foul mood, but hopefully we will have a good night.

She disgusts me.

Well, haha, who’s he coming home to? Guess what, he’s staying here.

Also, your comments about him not being able to see me as much as he did last year at university was evil, and yes, yes he will see me as much.

Fuck you.

It’s our relationship. Input not needed. Goodbye

Sorry for the rant guys! I feel better though!

Grace x