Explosion Monday, Dec 24 2012 

Yesterday me and some friends went to a pub, my boyfriend was amongst the group that went.

He had made a pub quiz for us all to do and when the pub closed decided to carry on doing it outside.

I was freezing and made a fuss about us just going home as I hadn’t slept the night before; was ridiculously cold; and just believed the night was over.

He still continued with the quiz and insisted I stayed when I tried to leave even thought I said he could just come home after me.

Anyway, we walked home in complete silence with me putting my headphones on.

When we got home he gave me a kiss on the head and said bye- apparently he was going to his dads.

He walked off and after having a little cry on the street I followed him.
nodmdo
I think the above picture is the only way to describe what happened next…

He completely exploded about me always wanting to get my own way and being weird about him being friends with girls. He then refused to come back to mine.

It was a truly horrific night with a lot of crying and I genuinely thought we were breaking up.

Finally, he came back home.

I was so tired and a bit drunk and kept falling asleep and thinking of Pokemon during the conversation.

We fought about me not liking him being friends with girls and I said I got jealous of any girl spending more time with him than I do- he said no girl does. I said I didn’t like the way some of his friendships were.

The argument ended for him in me saying I would chill about girls and wouldn’t be so pushy.

I think this is definitely one of the most horrific arguments we’ve had.

We went to Christmas lunch at his and he says everything is fine and we’re okay and he loves me. I worry that he’ll change his mind.

I hate that I don’t get to see him till the day after Boxing Day- consequently that is also his birthday.

I’m guessing this Christmas isn’t going to be particularly great.

Grace x

When drunk, apparently I become a porn star… Wednesday, Oct 10 2012 

I have neglected my blog I know, I’ve actually been pretty pathetic with it. I thought I would actually be a lot better with it when my boyfriend wasn’t living with me but I guess I’ve just been busy- at least ya’ll know I’ve been having a good time. Anyway, the first story that I’m going to share today happened a few days ago when I visited my boyfriend at his university. I went up on the Thursday and we went out on Friday night. Now, usually, we end up getting into some sort of drunk argument but Friday went without a hitch and was an absolutely great night! We got so so soooo drunk. So drunk even that when we came back to his he said that he was too drunk to actually get his dick up- being the trooper I am I decided this was not a statement but more, a challenge. So off I went with my usual hand and mouth motions. I’m not exactly sure what happened next but, well, things got pretty dirty.

He was crouching so his balls were literally completely covering my face and I was under him sucking away, during this he started to toss himself off which I thought was ridiculously hot so told him to carry on when he made me do it. I kept stopping him whenever I felt that he was close as I just wanted it to carry on. I don’t know what it was but it was the loss of inhibitions that I really was enjoying, I mean, he was telling me the things he wanted to do and how good things felt and I just loved it.

I was licking his balls all over while he groaned. I liked the fact that he had the control to slip his dick into my mouth when he wanted to or push me down when he wanted some more ball lovin’. This continued for a while until he said ‘I want to cum on your face.’ This was hot. He had never said that before and had never done it, I mean, mouth, tits, pussy etc. he’d done, but never actually on my face. I didn’t hear him the first time he said it so I asked him to repeat himself. I think a little of his inhibition wore off then as he rolled off me and started to cuddle…’what?’ I asked ‘why have you gone away? You just said you wanted to cum on my face’ (I am never ever this forward, and neither is he, I don’t even know how he managed to ask).

‘Well, you can’t really ask someone that…’ Comes his reply

‘You can ask me anything’ (I believe this is what broke down any kind of ‘treat her like a lady’ premise he may have held).

So then began my one woman porn star act. I got dick slapped, yes, on my face, dick slapped repeatedly and was actually informed the next morning that I enjoyed it as I was making noises…now, in this scenario I do believe I could have been making noises for more porn star quality or, the more likely option, I think I enjoyed him taking so much charge. Guys in charge are haaawwwtttt!

Anyway, this continued for quite some time, I think I got very little attention that night but I did learn that I quite like balls in my face and that my point about drunk sex has been solidified even more.

Grace x

 

There’s jizz on my bed. I wasn’t in the room. Wednesday, Oct 3 2012 

I think the title pretty much speaks for itself…however, I shall continue to tell the full story of how this scarring experience occurred…

Last night me and a load of friends went out, one of them was a housemate of mine. Anyway, we went to a party at the university students union and got ridiculously drunk, like seriously, I didn’t even know what the fuck was going on. Towards the end of the night me and my good friend, lets call him Sean, went back to mine as we wanted to continue raving somehow; this didn’t happen and we ended up getting pizza and trying to watch random shit on my computer.

My housemate soon arrived as I think she left before us but was in a different house. Anyway, she came into my room and we all watched stuff together. Then, for some reason that none of us can fathom we ended up in her room and were about to go to bed, now, this was a bit weird as it was the three of us in the bed. I fell asleep and woke up the next morning.

I was so fucking confused as she had re-arranged and tidied up her room so it was so different from the day before so when I woke up I was so completely disorientated and didn’t know where the fuck I was. However, I soon came to my senses and realized, now, I also realized that they were not in the bed, I didn’t think too much of it but did have a funny feeling. It was early and honestly I just wanted to get into my bed and go to sleep so I went upstairs to my room. Now, those of you who have read my blog about our bedroom doors (https://overthinkingmind.wordpress.com/2012/10/01/getting-locked-out-back-to-school-disco-and-being-a-lot-more-independant-than-i-origionally-anticipated/) will be aware that for some reason we have the kind of doors which lock automatically when they close. This was actually probably really lucky as I may have casually walked into my room if I didn’t have to knock to get in. When I knocked I heard voices and awkward giggling. That’s when I knew. They had done stuff in my room! I then had to do the awkward thing of waiting outside my room as they scrambled for their clothes.

Anyway, finally they opened the door and literally ran out with excuses and apologies, I just walked into my room saying this was far too awkward already and I was just going to go back to sleep. I heard my guy friend leave through the front door. I headed for my bed and was just about to get in when I saw it…the stains! There were very very clear wet patches on my bed! What the fuck!

I was in the process of being in shock when I got a knock on my bedroom door, Sean was back, he had forgotten his shoes and in the rush had simply run out of the house without them! Now, I wasn’t mad or anything but I jokingly began to shout at him about their being ‘fucking jizz’ on my bed! He said hurried apologies and ran out with one shoe on and one in his hand!

Now, I bet you’re thinking this can’t get much worse…it can.

So anyway, I’m still bloody tired and it is ridiculously early so I decide to get into bed after putting a cover over the guilty patches. I then began drifting to sleep. Now, I hate when there is something in my bed and I always move it because it fucking bugs me so when I felt something in the bed I proceeded to find whatever it was and remove it…it was my housemate’s underwear! Ugh! How awkward.

I threw the convicted underwear out of my bed and tried to get to sleep, however, peace alluded me and I ended up giving up and going downstairs. There, I find my housemate frantically running around looking for her stuff (leaving out of absolute and complete embarrassment), I flounce over to her and place the underwear I had brought down with me into her bag and go into the living room- here I find my other housemate, eyes wide and clearly dying to know what happened, I’m also absolutely killing to share my horrific story. Luckily the offending housemate leaves and we are free to gossip.

Soon after my other housemate comes down and is really confused why she heard a guy leaving my room in the early hours of the morning (I have a boyfriend of two years), so we get to tell her the story too!

Today I also remembered that the housemate who christened my bed also got with my other friend early on that night! She also thinks the affair in the bed meant a lot more than it did. My guy friend is buying me new sheets and is forever to give me drinks in clubs.

Now, the key elements of this story I believe are

A) I didn’t fucking get to christen my own bed with my own boyfriend

B) We tried to flip the mattress and found there were period stains on the other side (me and my housemate discussed which we thought was worse for me to sleep on, I’m still rather undecided, what do you guys think?)

C) The girl literally had to do nothing! I got the guy to the house.

D) She got laid and I got a pizza from him- I’m like the fucking fat ugly friend in this scenario

E) Why didn’t she simply wake me up and tell me to leave her room? She could have even said I was snoring or something, hence, it wouldn’t seem too weird.

Regardless, I do feel rather scarred by this experience and hope it befalls no one else. Also, I would really like to convey the message that I would have liked to christen my bed and if you have a bedroom in the same house as the one you are at it is ridiculously odd to have sex in another persons bedroom.

Traumatized I now need to sleep in this bed. On the bright side, I do love how things like this happen and are just damn hilarious!

Grace x

Did I pick the wrong house? Monday, Oct 1 2012 

Last night I walked into pre-drinks and everyone literally jumped up and pushed people out of the way to hug me. It was the best thing ever and it was absolutely amazing that so many people wanted to spend time with me!

Meanwhile, two of my flatmates had decided, last minute, that they weren’t going out and didn’t even bother to tell me. The one who did come left early.

I’d be allowed to smoke in the other house and the people there seem to appreciate me way more- why did I choose to live with these other people who hang about doing nothing all day and don’t seem all that bothered about me?

Anyway, they want to go to a club tomorrow but the other people are going to a different one, I’m going to go to the different one as I just think it will be heaps more fun and I won’t be having to leave when I feel my night hasn’t even begun yet!

I miss my halls from last year, they were a fucking ball! I don’t know, maybe it’s just the first few days and I’m just settling in. At least the other people only live about two minutes away so I guess I can go there anytime. It just sucks to not be comfortable in your own house.

On a brighter note, tomorrow is going to be AMAZING, and I get to go out with one of my guy best-friends who I didn’t get to see all summer and who is absolutely fantastic. Also, I’m really looking forward to seeing my boyfriend on Friday which I’m sure will be great, I do miss having him around all the time but it’s also lovely to be in a house which is mine.

Tomorrow I’m going to go do some food shopping and get myself more together.

Also, I have a gecko and well, he was car sick on the way here! How weird is that! I thought he was dying and his insides were coming out and nearly lobbed him out of the window! Luckily I realized it was vomited up worms. How odd though, I didn’t know geckos could throw up, I know that may sound really stupid but you don’t exactly expect that!

I am so excited for tomorrow! Also, I feel like I’m actually doing something with my life as I am going to sort out my university lectures and get some folders together. I am really excited for tomorrow!

Grace x

The countdown to university begins! Monday, Sep 17 2012 

Well, I guess this is a bit of a rubbish countdown as I am not entirely sure when I am actually going, I think my dad can only take me on a weekend so I guess the possible dates are the 22nd, 23rd or 29th. Freshers starts on the 30th so I am sure as hell not missing that!

For those of you who don’t know what Freshers is: it’s basically just a week or fortnight of ongoing student parties when everyone gets absolutely destroyed! Yes, it may not sound that appealing but I love alcohol; meeting new people; theme parties and the general atmosphere of university parties!

Anyway, most of my friends have already gone back as my university starts quite late in comparison to others- luckily, so does my boyfriend’s, so we don’t have to be apart for long before we’re back to visiting each other all the time! I am so excited! I’m sharing a house with three of my friends and I can’t wait to make it all homely and move into my new room! I am late on rent and that does rather concern me, but, not to worry…that shall be sorted very soon!

So, I have either 5, 6 or 12 days before I go back!

How bloody amazing!

I love a change of atmosphere and I can’t wait to actually do work! Plus, me and my boyfriend don’t live together in university (we go to different ones, they are ridiculously close though – 9 minutes by train). Now, in terms of this and blogging I can foresee many a blogs when I am hungover; not working or am just chilling. However, I do foresee rather a large decline when I visit him for a few days as he still isn’t aware I blog. My plan is to maybe send some blogs to my email so I can quickly upload them and click off the site while he’s in the shower or something!

Also, I am now going to be a big girl and sort out my finances.

My reward shall be getting very drunk tomorrow!

Grace x

Reasons I have kissed someone I didn’t like Sunday, Sep 16 2012 

Okay, some of these do go beyond kisses, one even became a relationship, but nothing above some boob grabbing- mostly snogging faces off and a tad bit of dry sex.

– Drunk: Probably the number one reason and one which seems to also contribute to many of the others.

– Revenge: Yes, petty. Yes, necessary.

– Bored: Probably mostly coupled with drunk, however, sometimes people just get bored: No good prospects? Oh, you’ll do

– You’re hot: Might as well, at least you won’t be something I regret in the morning (this can also closely tie with the next reason)

– Brownie Points: My friend got with Pete Doherty’s cousin, I got with a wrestler; sometimes you just know you can tell a good story from it, brag, possibly get cool freebies, and you kinda feel like you accomplished something.

– Rebound: Classic.

– Nice Guy Syndrome: You know you should probably give the poor lamb a go; turns out- you give him a go for the night and then abandon him.

– Bad Guy Syndrome: Why? Just why?

– Compliments: Again, probably drunk- someone says something in passing and you jump them like you would a ravine in a desert.

– Sympathy: I have done this drunk. You’ve put someone in the friendzone, you get drunk, you take them out, you feel even more guilty in the morning

Well, now I feel like a shitty person.

Grace x

“Reasons why I would never EVER have sex with you” Monday, Sep 10 2012 

So, I was reading this awesome blog called http://reasonswhyimstillsingle.wordpress.com/ which is basically this guy stating all the hilarious reasons why he’s single and it reminded me of a drunken conversation I had with my male friend, lets call him Jack, a few weeks ago.

Basically, Jack was rather hammered and everyone else had gone home (because we’re awesomely hardcore and they we tired- well, actually I’d arrived late as I had slept all day, had already thrown up and had drank my body weight in vodka-red bulls and Jack, well, he’s like 20 ft. so I guess it would take a lot to get him nackered from alcohol).

Drunkenly I say: “We would be such an awesome couple if we liked each other, we always have bundles of fun and we wouldn’t have the whole sex complication.”

Jack’s lovely response to this was “Oh God! I would never EVER have sex with you!”

“Excuse me! Why exactly would YOU not have sex with ME!?”

(Yes, my ego is slightly inflated. Drunk? I think I’m a bloody goddess)

To this Jack responded with a very accurate and rather long list:

– I’ve seen you throw up pink rice, try to crawl away from it, fall into it and continue throwing up.

– You think that the solution to your throwing up with a hangover is to go out and drink more resulting in an even worse session the next day

– You’ve thrown up on me

– You’ve gone to hospital because you were so drunk and tried to attack the nurse

– You got arrested for trying to beat up a 6 ft guy because he was in your way in a club

– You think that not showering for days is acceptable

– You’ve come to my house with vomit in your hair

– I’ve seen you get angry and throw your heels at your boyfriend

– You always seem to be escorted out of clubs rather than leaving them

– I once found you passed out in a bush outside my house

– Your room smells like someone’s shat in it and there’s food from weeks and weeks ago in it

– I’ve seen you running around naked at a house party when you had a period pad on

I’m pretty sure there was more but I can’t remember all of them. Bare in mind these are only the reasons he wouldn’t go out with me due to alcohol. My god, there must be hundreds more.

How do I even have a boyfriend?

Grace x

I am fucking annoyed Thursday, Sep 6 2012 

So today I attempt to go clubbing.

I bring my Russian passport (as I always do as I use my British one way more so it would be more of a hassle if I lost it)

Apparently you now need to back up foreign ID with another form of ID. Now, I do not bring my bank card as I end up spending way too much and I don’t bring my student ID as they are expensive to replace

An ID is a fucking ID

My boyfriend who is out with his friends is also being a fucking tool and not even bothering to help.

I’m drunk. I can’t be bothered. Fuck my life. My fucking taxi cost loads as well. Just fuck off world. I’m going to chain smoke and binge eat. The end.

Grace x

The story of the beginning Thursday, Sep 6 2012 

So, I’ve mentioned my boyfriend quite a lot in this blog, I have also mentioned that he used to be my best friend, I have also said once that he went out with my other best friend before me. I said I’d explain this so here it goes.

I met my boyfriend (calling him Jeff) the day everyone got their GCSE results (so I had just finished year 11). I knew of him before as one of my friends had dated his brother for quite a while a year or so before this. I had never met him and didn’t talk to him that much the day we met- although I did steal some beer from him! I knew my best friend, lets call her Susan, quite liked him and had kissed him at a bbq that he was at a few weeks ago. Anyway, that was the day we met.

The second time I met him he picked me up from my house (I’m not really sure why) to go drinking in a park with a load of friends, we were there before everyone else and started playing a drinking game by drinking whoever got the lowest number on the dice we were throwing (well, not really throwing, the dice was on his phone). I kept loosing- a hint at what the relationship we would have would be like (he wins fucking everything). I got drunk and tried to get off with him and his best friend. I managed to get off with him, get him topless and alone and in my drunken state asked him who was better looking, me or Susan- he didn’t reply. This is a truly cringey episode! I mean I totally jumped him, tried to strip him down and asked him awkward questions! How could I ever face him again?

The next day the friend who had dated his brother tried to interrogate him about what happened (bare in mind she had already tried to set us up and after looking at my Facebook he was like urrhhh nah) and he seemed rather funny about it.

Anyway, after this we somehow managed to become really good friends, he was free to get off with whoever, I went out with a lot of his friends, we chilled, meshed, got drunk together, went for dinners…it was an amazing time.

Crunch time came when he drunkenly let out that he fancied someone in the group (this was about a year later by the way). Everyone thought it was me. He let it drag on and on. It turned out to be Susan. He asked her out and she said yes. I knew I was kind of upset.

I know I didn’t exactly help their relationship very much at all, and I know I was a pretty shitty friend. I mean, I spent all my time with him, we hung out way more than she did, he ditched her to hang out with me and we even played strip poker. He eventually broke up with her because she started shouting at me for being too close to him. I don’t blame her, if he was the way he was with me with someone else now I would be running for the fucking hills!

They broke up, we remained ridiculously close. Throughout our friendship I had been on and off with a ridiculously jealous boyfriend who hated Jeff. I was going out with him when Jeff first kissed me. We were drunk on Sambuca. He told me he thought he might like me.

This started a strange line of affairs where neither of us could decide if we wanted to be together.

Jeff asked me to go out with him on Valentines day. He spent hundreds and hundreds of pounds that day, that’s when I had to tell Susan.

It was awkward, she said she was okay with it but then said she felt like Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’ song…that is NOT an ‘I’m okay with it’ song.

I carried on seeing him, nearly two years together now. I know I made the right decision, it may sound bitchy and it may sound harsh but I wanted to be with him, they weren’t and I know you’re not meant to go out with you’re best friend’s ex but what if you just can’t help yourself. I can’t imagine this year without him, he’s amazing, he yanked me out of an abusive relationship and he is still my best friend. I want to say sorry to Susan but I don’t know what I’m really sorry for, I’m sorry that I hurt her and I’m sorry our friendship can never be the same.

On a brighter note, I am back to doing my questions!

So…

Question 4: If you wanted to have children and you’re partner didn’t would that be a deal breaker for you?

Answer: Definately a yes, I have always pictured children in my future and I don’t think I would be happy to not have children, I don’t think I could ever love someone as much as a child and therefore no man would be worthy of making me change my mind.  I think I do really need children when I’m older and I want to be a mother. I wouldn’t let anyone take this away. Obviously this is different for everyone but I personally would walk away if someone didn’t see children in our future (not at this age, I mean I don’t want children now and I would date someone who didn’t want children but in terms of serious relationships and particularly when I’m older I would need to be with someone who wanted kids)

Grace x

Off to PARTAYYYY Saturday, Sep 1 2012 

Today we’re going for a bar crawl and I’m actually quite excited for it, this is especially because last night’s drunk escapades were, to be honest, completely shit!

I really want a good night, I want a night without drama but which isn’t boring.

I want a night where me and my boyfriend are happy and loving drunks together.

I want gossip and I want something to happen which doesn’t involve me (selfish?).

I am so late! I still need to shower, shave and get ready. I should probably fuck off WordPress and get on it! Blogging is so bloody addictive!

Is it just me or is getting ready for a night out amazing!

Also, I want to start getting more interactive with blogging, so, for every post I shall ask a completely unrelated but (hopefully) interesting question that people can answer, I shall also post mine 🙂

(Sits with crossed fingers hoping people actually reply)

Question 1: Would you ever stay with someone who cheated on you?

Answer 1: I think this heavily depends of a lot of circumstantial elements: how long were you with them? Who did they cheat on you with? Was it pre-meditated? Why did they cheat on you? What did the cheating consist of? Was there more of a connection than just a sexual act? Do I feel they would do it again? How many times? How did I find out? I think the answers to a lot of these questions would be the ones who made the decision for me, the thing is, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to be able to maintain a relationship with someone who cheated on me and I think that there would be little point in carrying on the relationship if I didn’t fully forgive them and made jibes about it after we had spoken about it. I think forgiving is an extreamly difficult task. I guess it would boil down to whether I loved and trusted them to carry on the relationship. I also think this is a very difficult question to answer if you are not currently in the situation.

Grace x

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