From my university room! It was a nice post…then it changed course Saturday, Sep 29 2012 

I haven’t been posting lately as I have been saying bye to my boyfriend and getting ready to move into my new house. Well, actually I’ve just been saying bye to my boyfriend and only finished packing seconds before we left- well, even that isn’t true as I have forgotten so much stuff which luckily my dad is taking over to my boyfriend’s dad’s house now as he goes to university ridiculously close to me so can pass it on in a week max. I need to get ready for my first night out here so I’m going to quickly summarize what has been going on:

  • My boyfriend pissed me off so much this morning as I was trying to say bye (yes, I know it’s only for a few days but we will no longer be living together) and he was too damn preoccupied with the fucking football and tried to have a go at me because I wasn’t letting him watch it! I just wanted a nice goodbye.
  • Judas, my ‘friend’ who I believe fancies my boyfriend is going to the same university; staying in the same accommodation; hanging out with the people in his block; is texting how she can’t wait for him to come up; is telling me not to visit often as it will distract him; is saying she will pay for all his entries into clubs and keeps being very rude to me and bloody snuggling into his bumhole! My boyfriend is too fucking obtuse to realize anything (or maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t think so).
  • I love my little room, except I can’t afford to buy cutlery…

Fuck this, we just had a fucking ‘house meeting’ and guess what, I am fucking pissed OFF, apparently I can’t smoke in the house… are they fucking kidding me?! I am not, repeat NOT going to bloody well go outside everytime I have a fag, wtf is this absolute crap! I am no fucking angry! I fucking pay a ridiculous amount to live here and I’m sorry but the first thing you do is say, oh it smelled when you smoke, I would then put a towel under my door and make more of an effort with my window. This is just a fucking joke! I am so fucking angry, also, an entire year without smoking inside, are you KIDDING me?! Fuck this. I will, in fact, smoke inside. The idea of not smoking inside for a year is fucking terrifying. I hate this house.

Grace x

Love and sex when you’re ill Sunday, Sep 23 2012 

So, my boyfriend came home to a very ill Grace last night, he was amazing, he let me watch any crap that I wanted and just took care of me in such an amazing way. Sadly, he too is ill now, in fact, as I type he is snoring right beside me.

Now, the theme of this blog is how illnesses effect love and sex. I do not mean any serious illnesses such as cancer as I feel that I cannot truly comment on something I have not myself experienced, but illnesses such as the common cold. In terms of a cold I think my boyfriend can be a bit of a sissy…he is definitely someone you can put in the ‘man-flu’ category: You know, complaining, bad mood, incessant whining and the expectation that you have to do everything for him (I know he exaggerates but still end up being his nurse and maid when he has a touch of the sniffles- sorry feminism). However, it seems that in this strange turn of events he has simply become gentle, kind and very very cuddly- I like this kind of illness in him.

I, too, seem to have become very complimentary, cuddly and generally ridiculously nice. It’s odd how we seem to have spent the whole day with compliments replacing banter: maybe we just don’t have the energy for witty insults today.

Now…onto the sex! The sex yesterday was fucking AMAZING! I mean proper AMAZING. I don’t know why but I just felt so sensitive to his touch and I just wanted him so much and he wanted me. It was so hot…well, maybe that was just our mutual rise in body temperature…

I took off my top because I was boiling and he got hard, I touched and teased him throughout the evening. I had almost given up on anything happening when we said goodnight and began to spoon but then I though, hey, I want dick- now. I began rubbing his crotch properly and he got hard very quick. The rest is history…wait, the rest is biology.

However, for those of you who are aware that he had a hand injury…yesterday was the first time he was able to get on top. Hot hot hot! Finally, the weight of my guy on top of me, no wonder that I was thanking every cosmological power if I was a girl…the time I cumed in…lets just say that if I was a guy and my boyfriend was a girl he would be taking me to see a premature ejaculation therapist. God it’s good being a girl sometimes!

Grace x

The night of horrific chat up lines (part 3: PLEASE LOVE ME) Sunday, Sep 16 2012 

Right, so this is the last awful chat up story of that night- yes, all three were in the same night. No, I don’t know if the bar tenders were spiking the drinks of men with crack that night.

So there I am, sitting with my friend when a fella comes over and asks for BOTH our numbers…now, the thing I don’t understand is…this is not like roulette, asking girls next to each other for both their numbers does not mean you have a greater chance at victory. As you can imagine, both of us said no.

However, this was not to be the end of this confused man.

A few minutes later my absolutely wasted friend comes up from doing shots at the bar downstairs. The same fella decides to approach her and ask her for her number. Now, me and my other friend are crazily shaking our heads and making faces at her, however- she agrees that she will take his number down. He takes her phone and starts taping in his number. By this point my drunken fool of a friend is bursting for the toilet so we leave the guy and her phone under the supervision of my friend and dash of to the toilet. Once inside she tells me that this is her tactic, let them give her their number and they leave her alone.

“Hmm, that’s actually not a bad plan.” I say.

We return back to our table knowing that the guy will return her phone and go away, however, as we approach we realize he is miss-calling himself from her phone…he now has her number! Oh dear, well, her plan has not backfired. We quickly make our excuses and go downstairs to find the rest of our friends and have a few drinks with them.

The night progresses without note when, a few hours later, the friend who had given the number to the guy receives a text:

“I’m so so sorry I left so abruptly and couldn’t say goodbye, you are amazing, I hope to see you soon, sorry again..”

Now, I’m already reading this and thinking ‘what a freak’ when she scowls down and I see the end of his text…

“Please love me! xxx”

Okay, just what the fuck!

I don’t even know what to comment on this! Please love me? PLEASE LOVE ME? Is that not one of the weirdest, creepiest thing a stranger has texted you (probably not, but still)

PLEASE LOVE ME?

His number is now blocked. However, my mind is incapable of blocking something like this out. I am shocked. Men take note: This is weird. Thanks

Grace x

The night of horrific chat up lines (part 2: no, you cannot sit there) Wednesday, Sep 12 2012 

So, after my difficult journey to the pub (which I spoke about in part 1) I finally got there!

A few minutes later some of my friends left so that they could get a stamp for a bar which would be closing later than the one we were in- if they didn’t get a stamp before a certain time they would have to queue and pay to get in.

Anyway, I wasn’t going as I promised my boyfriend I wouldn’t get too drunk and would be home at a respectable time as he wanted to spend a nice night with me: not one when I’m all crazy drunken me. When they left it was just me and one girlfriend, we were chatting and generally having a great time when a random guy approaches us and asks us if he could sit down. Now, the bar was not crowded enough to allow this kind of behavior- I mean, I don’t usually approve of it generally but this time there were literally dozens of seats! However, I didn’t want to flat-out say no so I decided to just raise my eyebrows and give him the ‘are you being serious look’. Now, it’s not just that he wanted to sit down at our table, it was more the fact that he was about twenty years older than me and I suspected that he wouldn’t just sit there talking to his friend (women’s intuition rocks).

Apparently my look of ‘are you being serious?’ was intercepted correctly because he sat down. Unacceptable. We ignored him and basically shut down all his questions. I guess this wouldn’t have been that noteworthy, however, his horrific chat up line was to say that he knew me and we had slept together in a dorm room five years ago.

Now, five years ago I would have barely been fourteen. I really don’t think I was having sex at fourteen. Also, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t doing Economics at Westminster University when I was fourteen. However, when I stated these facts he continued to say that it was, in fact, me who he slept with. My patience was beginning to run low at this point. I had sex for the first time when I was sixteen with my then boyfriend of four years, I have never attended or even been near Westminster University and I do not do Economics as my degree. Oh, and a side note, I do not sleep with random people. I also would not sleep with someone who is so much older than me and looks like he’s had more cocaine than the amount that floats around all the festivals during summer!

He just would not let this one go!

“Okay, whatever, maybe she looked like me.”

“No, it was you.”

“No, it wasn’t. Someone probably looked like me. Also, at my age, I would have changed drastically in five years.”

“It was definitely you.”

“Fine. It was me. Now I know your name and what you look like I shall be contacting the police. I would have been fourteen five years ago.”

I then proceeded to show him my passport ( I had it at the pub as that is my only current form of ID).

He got up and RAN and I mean RAN! It was brilliant!

Of course, it wasn’t me who he had slept with all those years ago.

I guess this is post number 3 in which I can say: men are idiots.

Grace x

 

The New Worst Way To Break Up With Someone Is Called ‘Ghosting’ Wednesday, Sep 12 2012 

This is awful! In fact, this is so awful that I have interrupted my whole telling of the weird guys I met yesterday to bring shocking news…apparently people now just complete ignore and avoid you as a way of breaking up! What on earth is happening? According to the video people do this even in long term relationships that have lasted years!
‘Ghosting’ is completely unacceptable!
You are essentially prohibiting someone from moving on and are just being a childish coward.
Watch the video people!

Grace x

31st August 2012 Friday, Aug 31 2012 

I couldn’t really think of a title for this post.

I was successful in being awake and went to the hospital with my boyfriend to remove the stitches on his hand.

It was a good day and I didn’t want to leave him. So, we went back to his dad’s and he happened to mention that he had a very busy day tomorrow:

“Doing what?” I asked

“Stuff”

“What stuff?”

“Seeing people”

“What people?”

“High school people”

“Oh, you guys are on it!” (He’d met up with his high school friends quite a lot recently)

“No, not them”

Now, before you get the wrong idea, these questions were asked with some space between them, also, he usually just says who he is going with so I got a bit suspicious when he kept giving me these bullshit answers.

“Is Douchebag going to be there?” I ask (let’s say that’s his ex-girlfriend’s name)

“No, she didn’t go to my high school”

I should have probably known this, but it was a long time ago.

After this, I let it go. We got to his dad’s and I began making nachos for him. Then a horrific thought hit me. You see, he has this friend, let’s call her Satan, now, him and Satan had fooled around before and I guess you could call them friends; but one night when he went out with his friends she tried to make out with him even though she knew he had a girlfriend (me). Now, he didn’t tell me about this for ages (I don’t doubt it didn’t happen, I mean my friends would have told me, plus, she ended up getting with several other guys that night; including hooking up with my boyfriend’s friend during and for a while after).

“Satan! Satan’s going to be there isn’t she!” I suddenly gain realisation

“Yeah.”

Now, this fucked me off royally! I mean, they haven’t seen each other since she tried to kiss him and what kind of friend tries to get of with their taken friend? His whole case was based on the fact that they were friends and I should therefore not be upset, furthermore, he argued that nothing weird has happened since- they haven’t fucking SEEN each other since!

I was now fuming.

I am still fuming to some extent I think. The thing is, it’s not that he was seeing her which truly upset me, it was the fact that I had to GUESS that she would be there, he didn’t tell me himself; just like the kissing incident wasn’t brought up by him.

We argued, he got rather stroppy at one point and said he wouldn’t go to the meal then. I said that that wasn’t the point. He got angry because apparently he was doing ‘all he could.’ How about fucking telling me you’re seeing her! He even claimed that he would have mentioned it tomorrow (what, when they had already met up? Great). He said he didn’t want the reaction I was giving him now. My reaction was mainly because he didn’t tell me! Also, it contradicted his other argument of him saying he didn’t think I would think it was a big deal.

He’s not going to the meal now, apparently it’s his choice because he wants to go shopping for the camping trip me, him and some friends are taking in a few days.

I don’t want to be the one who makes him not go, I want him not to go out of decency.

I don’t even particularly care if he goes. I just want him to tell me next time. He knows who and what bothers me so just tell me about it.

Friends don’t try to make out with friends who are in relationships. Fucking slut.

His hand is fine though. I’m going to get drunk at the pub today.

Grace x