Explosion Monday, Dec 24 2012 

Yesterday me and some friends went to a pub, my boyfriend was amongst the group that went.

He had made a pub quiz for us all to do and when the pub closed decided to carry on doing it outside.

I was freezing and made a fuss about us just going home as I hadn’t slept the night before; was ridiculously cold; and just believed the night was over.

He still continued with the quiz and insisted I stayed when I tried to leave even thought I said he could just come home after me.

Anyway, we walked home in complete silence with me putting my headphones on.

When we got home he gave me a kiss on the head and said bye- apparently he was going to his dads.

He walked off and after having a little cry on the street I followed him.
nodmdo
I think the above picture is the only way to describe what happened next…

He completely exploded about me always wanting to get my own way and being weird about him being friends with girls. He then refused to come back to mine.

It was a truly horrific night with a lot of crying and I genuinely thought we were breaking up.

Finally, he came back home.

I was so tired and a bit drunk and kept falling asleep and thinking of Pokemon during the conversation.

We fought about me not liking him being friends with girls and I said I got jealous of any girl spending more time with him than I do- he said no girl does. I said I didn’t like the way some of his friendships were.

The argument ended for him in me saying I would chill about girls and wouldn’t be so pushy.

I think this is definitely one of the most horrific arguments we’ve had.

We went to Christmas lunch at his and he says everything is fine and we’re okay and he loves me. I worry that he’ll change his mind.

I hate that I don’t get to see him till the day after Boxing Day- consequently that is also his birthday.

I’m guessing this Christmas isn’t going to be particularly great.

Grace x

There’s jizz on my bed. I wasn’t in the room. Wednesday, Oct 3 2012 

I think the title pretty much speaks for itself…however, I shall continue to tell the full story of how this scarring experience occurred…

Last night me and a load of friends went out, one of them was a housemate of mine. Anyway, we went to a party at the university students union and got ridiculously drunk, like seriously, I didn’t even know what the fuck was going on. Towards the end of the night me and my good friend, lets call him Sean, went back to mine as we wanted to continue raving somehow; this didn’t happen and we ended up getting pizza and trying to watch random shit on my computer.

My housemate soon arrived as I think she left before us but was in a different house. Anyway, she came into my room and we all watched stuff together. Then, for some reason that none of us can fathom we ended up in her room and were about to go to bed, now, this was a bit weird as it was the three of us in the bed. I fell asleep and woke up the next morning.

I was so fucking confused as she had re-arranged and tidied up her room so it was so different from the day before so when I woke up I was so completely disorientated and didn’t know where the fuck I was. However, I soon came to my senses and realized, now, I also realized that they were not in the bed, I didn’t think too much of it but did have a funny feeling. It was early and honestly I just wanted to get into my bed and go to sleep so I went upstairs to my room. Now, those of you who have read my blog about our bedroom doors (https://overthinkingmind.wordpress.com/2012/10/01/getting-locked-out-back-to-school-disco-and-being-a-lot-more-independant-than-i-origionally-anticipated/) will be aware that for some reason we have the kind of doors which lock automatically when they close. This was actually probably really lucky as I may have casually walked into my room if I didn’t have to knock to get in. When I knocked I heard voices and awkward giggling. That’s when I knew. They had done stuff in my room! I then had to do the awkward thing of waiting outside my room as they scrambled for their clothes.

Anyway, finally they opened the door and literally ran out with excuses and apologies, I just walked into my room saying this was far too awkward already and I was just going to go back to sleep. I heard my guy friend leave through the front door. I headed for my bed and was just about to get in when I saw it…the stains! There were very very clear wet patches on my bed! What the fuck!

I was in the process of being in shock when I got a knock on my bedroom door, Sean was back, he had forgotten his shoes and in the rush had simply run out of the house without them! Now, I wasn’t mad or anything but I jokingly began to shout at him about their being ‘fucking jizz’ on my bed! He said hurried apologies and ran out with one shoe on and one in his hand!

Now, I bet you’re thinking this can’t get much worse…it can.

So anyway, I’m still bloody tired and it is ridiculously early so I decide to get into bed after putting a cover over the guilty patches. I then began drifting to sleep. Now, I hate when there is something in my bed and I always move it because it fucking bugs me so when I felt something in the bed I proceeded to find whatever it was and remove it…it was my housemate’s underwear! Ugh! How awkward.

I threw the convicted underwear out of my bed and tried to get to sleep, however, peace alluded me and I ended up giving up and going downstairs. There, I find my housemate frantically running around looking for her stuff (leaving out of absolute and complete embarrassment), I flounce over to her and place the underwear I had brought down with me into her bag and go into the living room- here I find my other housemate, eyes wide and clearly dying to know what happened, I’m also absolutely killing to share my horrific story. Luckily the offending housemate leaves and we are free to gossip.

Soon after my other housemate comes down and is really confused why she heard a guy leaving my room in the early hours of the morning (I have a boyfriend of two years), so we get to tell her the story too!

Today I also remembered that the housemate who christened my bed also got with my other friend early on that night! She also thinks the affair in the bed meant a lot more than it did. My guy friend is buying me new sheets and is forever to give me drinks in clubs.

Now, the key elements of this story I believe are

A) I didn’t fucking get to christen my own bed with my own boyfriend

B) We tried to flip the mattress and found there were period stains on the other side (me and my housemate discussed which we thought was worse for me to sleep on, I’m still rather undecided, what do you guys think?)

C) The girl literally had to do nothing! I got the guy to the house.

D) She got laid and I got a pizza from him- I’m like the fucking fat ugly friend in this scenario

E) Why didn’t she simply wake me up and tell me to leave her room? She could have even said I was snoring or something, hence, it wouldn’t seem too weird.

Regardless, I do feel rather scarred by this experience and hope it befalls no one else. Also, I would really like to convey the message that I would have liked to christen my bed and if you have a bedroom in the same house as the one you are at it is ridiculously odd to have sex in another persons bedroom.

Traumatized I now need to sleep in this bed. On the bright side, I do love how things like this happen and are just damn hilarious!

Grace x

I do not think I look cool or sexy while I’m on the toilet… Monday, Sep 24 2012 

Does this mean I’m a complete troll?

Does it mean I have a horrific body image?

Recently I have noticed that more and more girls on my Facebook seem to have a pictures of them on the toilet… For those of you who have not seen one, it looks a lot like this:

Let’s begin with scenario 1: Right, you literally have shit (sorry for the pun) coming out of both ends of you. Classy lady. The thing I do not understand about pictures like this is why you would keep something like this on your Facebook…are you proud? I have actually seen girls put a similar picture to this as her profile picture…so literally, this is how you are going to classify yourself. The other thing I don’t understand this is why someone is taking this picture…I mean, I’ve only ever gone into the toilet when a friend has been in there if I desperately needed to throw up or if they really needed help. In either scenario I do not think I would be up for taking their picture. Now, let’s say I did, I would then show them in the morning, have a laugh and delete it. It would not be going on Facebook or anything of the sort.

Scenario 2: With the wrath I am currently feeling, I do not even know how I am going to manage to write anything legible. Why is this bitch posing? Why do girls pose on the toilet? I cannot imagine what you think is sexy about this…the fact that your legs are out? The fact you have no underwear on? The fact that your bum is slightly showing? Just wear a fucking short dress if you want these things, you don’t even have to wear underwear if you really don’t want to; just don’t fucking pose like this. Especially, if you are later going to comment on it saying ‘oh you, why did you take this picture?’ You fucking posed for it, also if you don’t want it…untag it. Fucking sorted.

Scenario 3: That’s just Lady Gaga, I don’t think her parents gave her enough attension as a child, that, and she seems to have ADHD, sort it out man, it’s 2012, there’s pills for that shit.

By the way, these obviously aren’t the pictures from Facebook, just some Google images to reiterate my point.

For my concluding statement I would like to say that toilet pictures are horrific and just vulgar. I am not against silly or stupid pictures, I myself have a few horrific ones on Facebook- however, you will never find a picture of me having a shit; that shit’s private!

Grace x

“This movie is so boring” “You’re face is so boring” Tuesday, Sep 18 2012 

Yeah, that’s my boyfriend’s new thing. It used to be ending sentences in ‘invinci-bubble’ or ‘inevitab-bubble’ but this is the new one.

I’ll say something like ‘Oh, this food is spicy’ and he’ll reply with ‘you’re spicy’

Half the time it doesn’t even bloody make sense.

It is definitely his current most annoying trait.

I live with this guy.

I guess this is what they mean when they say that girls mature faster than guys.

Grace x

The Naked Party Thursday, Aug 23 2012 

Go on, judge a book by it’s cover; judge this post by the title: It is exactly what it says.

Now, this was NOT some kind of orgy and this party was NOT arranged this way, this is just the story of a bunch of under-age kids having a wee bit much to drink and going a bit nuts.

I’m not exactly sure when this was, but I do know I was in high school. One of my good friends, lets call him Matt, has a massive house, but slightly anal parents. However, these parents are quite frequently out or are taking a trip to somewhere over the weekend so, he has parties, huge parties.

I remember being invited and being very excited, his parties are always fantastic. He’s good with providing alcohol, although, obviously, people do bring their own, his house is massive and hardly anything is off limits, theirs a trampoline and he invites so many people.

A few hours before the party I had to trudge about thirty minutes just to get alcohol which the shop owner would over price for those without id, kind of a no id, add a few quid to the price set up. It was a shop where everyone went because everyone knew they would be served there (it’s closed down now). I don’t remember what I brought, but, by the events which I am about to describe, I’m guessing it was some pretty good shit.

I showed up in shorts and one of my dad’s tops which I’d modified and made quite funky. There where already a lot of people there as I was late to the party, as I am to most things (even though I only lived about 3 minutes away from his house). I don’t particularly remember drinking but I’m pretty sure I was rather drunk as I thought it would be a good idea to go into a room alone with Matt to ‘speak’. Now, this was a very bad idea, you see, Matt was my ex boyfriend who had been one of my best friends and we were now friends again so this next part probably wasn’t my smartest move.

We were in his dad’s office and, like we often did and still occasionally do when we’re drunk, began talking about our relationship. Things got sweet and we started hugging and making out, it was nice and it’s not uncommon for me to make out with someone at a party. We probably made out for a good while before someone walked in unsuspectingly; we jumped apart, but whoever had walked in had guessed what was going on and had walked out. I’m guessing they probably thought more was happening due to the fact that we were ex’s and for some reason I had mascara all down my face (probably from the sweet chat we just had- I’m quite a cryer by the way).

So anyway, we brushed ourselves off and rejoined the rest of the party downstairs. It was pretty much in full swing by now and I’m guessing I had even more alcohol at this point.

Now, this is where it gets fuzzy. One of my best friends was there, lets call her Chelsea, now Chelsea and I shared a love for craziness and partying. I think we were speaking about our general antics when somebody suggested that people take their tops off. Being quite drunk at the time I did so. This unleashed something weird, and I mean shocking weird. As soon as the top came off I began running around and sort of making out with ever boy in my path, half of them I wasn’t even attracted to and one even had a long term girlfriend. Somehow, during this period my shorts also came off.

A fun titbit from the night that I have been told about is that Chelsea and Matt where speaking upstairs and Chelsea, who had also made out with quite a few guys at the party was telling Matt how she didn’t want to be the sluttist girl at the party (there weren’t even that many girls from what I can remember but the ones who where there weren’t really the slutty kind). Now, I do not remember this, but, according to numerous sources, just as she (fully clothed) said that, I run past them (in just my underwear) screaming ‘WAHHEYYYY!’ Well, at least Chelsea didn’t have anything to worry about (for the time being, she got naked pretty soon after).

Now, I do not at all remember the order in which I proceeded to make out with boys in but I’ve been told I made out with EVERY guy at that party. Yes, yes, I know, not my most dignified night.

There was, lets say Lawrence, he, I think is the one I remember the clearest, partly because I think I was with him for the longest and partly because our brief tongue affair was documented all over Facebook. We made out in the garden a LOT, in our underwear, with absolutely everyone around.

Lets say Chris, he was the guy with the girl friend. Our making out session took part in the bathroom.

I made out with Matt again, or was it Chelsea making out with Matt? All I remember is both of us being in the same tiny bathroom, each with a guy. Matt was defiantly one of them (the break up was a good one and quite a while ago by the way, also the relationship wasn’t serious so it was in no way an issue if she did make out with him in the bathroom, regardless, she definitely did at some point that night).

Lets say Zack, Zack was the kind guy that no one really made out with much but I remember coming down the stairs, I think I may actually have been clothed then and him saying ‘You look beautiful’ and me just pouncing on him

Lets say Craig, he was a guy with whom I would always have the same cycle:friends, he confesses his love, awkward, friends, confess love, awkward, friends etc etc. Yeah, he was probably a bad idea.

Lets say Khyl, he gets a bit clingy and desperate when he’s drunk. I remember Matt telling me how he followed me and Chelsea around. Matt told him to stop chasing him as we would then come to him, Matt was right, at least, I definitely did.

Then there was, lets say Leo, now I had made out with a few of these boys before but never Leo. Leo was the best looking and one who did not really make out with people. I remember thinking ‘right, tonight, I shall make out with Leo’. Now, this was executed with my clothes back on, involved me and Chelsea doing a weird dance with a broom of some sort and me literally jumping on top of him (there is a very awkward picture of this as he’s still holding his can of beer behind my back). Regardless, that mission was accomplished.

There are more, but their basically pecks and I don’t really have any stories behind them. I presume I got home okay as I’m able to even document this, but, the party wasn’t quite in the past when my head hit my pillow.

The next day I went over to Matt’s to help him clean

The next day his parents got home

The next day he texted me saying he was in trouble because his mom had found the under-wire of a bra in the bathroom

That day I realised that under-wire was mine

The next day the pictures of the party went up on Facebook. I was rather horrified at my naked drunken antics, but then I saw something even more horrific, possibly the worst thing I could ever see on Facebook: Craig and Lawrence were holding me up and everyone was all smiles, at this point I was just in my underwear. My underwear was black and you could, very easily, see… the fold over wings of my PERIOD PAD! Now, I am not quite sure how I managed not to run away from home and go all Amish at this point but I did and to this day I classify that as an achievement.

Grace x