Why is that? Why is it that you’re fine by yourself but after a relationship yourself just isn’t enough anymore? Tuesday, Sep 25 2012 

You’re fine and you’re happy, things are going right,

You’re self-sufficient intelligent and bright.

He comes along and you think, yes wow,

Things really are going my way now.

The days go on, the months, the years,

It’s subtle at first and you don’t ever realize.

Then one day he’s gone, bish bash, bagoon!

That’s when you realize how much you’re world changed, how much you’ve changed. You realize he became the glue that held you together, you got used to this glue, and even though you have the same job and everything else in your life is great, somehow it’s harder and different, you can’t keep yourself together anymore.

Why is that?

Grace x

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Love Monday, Sep 10 2012 

You seem to always be there when I need you,

When I’m bored, hungry, sad; I can turn to you,

When I’m drunk, happy, tired; I can turn to you,

I get anxious when you’re not around,

I feel like I need more of you.

When I’m alone I need you more.

I hate it when people take parts of you; you’re mine.

When I’m angry, cold, crying; I can turn yo you

When I’m excited, nervous, paranoid; I can turn to you.

You’re around when I’m watching the telly,

And around when I’m reading a book,

You seem to be able to see all of me and not judge.

The only thing is…doctors say you’re going to kill me.

I keep on smoking you anyway, oh, cigarette. 

I’ve wanted to do something like this for a while. Kind of, an on-going metaphor.

I do love smoking, I feel that it calms me and gets me through so many things.

I think it gets me out of awkward situations as ‘I’m just popping out for a smoke’.

I know I’ll have to quit whenever I get pregnant, and I will quit- I don’t think I would be able to live with myself, I mean, I’m already terrified of disabilities.

My logic is, I’m young.

Yes, they are harmful but so are so many other things.

Besides, healthy people die too.

As sad as it may sound but smoking is definitely one of the crutches that holds me up.

Grace x

Fear Sunday, Sep 9 2012 

The fear that he will leave is immeasurable,

Everything’s fine, I know I’m happy.

You can’t get into people’s heads though.

Maybe he isn’t that happy,

Maybe he’ll find someone else,

Maybe the things he says are cute will get annoying,

Maybe I’ll exaggerate a situation and break up with him,

Maybe the worrying will drive him away.

I don’t know why I worry so much,

I’ve got through it before so presumably I can do it again.

I worry that all our friends will take his side,

I worry he’ll find someone else,

I worry I’ll see him with a girl,

I worry he’ll forget and I’ll be the only one hurting,

I worry everything will fall apart.

All this could be stupid.

All this could be true.

Grace x