The Butchering of the Time Traveler’s Wife Monday, Feb 18 2013 

I have been away for far too long, I’m not entirely sure what it is but I think when times are pretty decent I just don’t blog, I mean, I began the blog when my boyfriend cut his hand open and had to have surgery in the hope of regaining movement and feeling…

Everything’s pretty peachy now, but I do miss blogging.

First order of business… I have just watched The Time Traveler’s Wife…

time lala
I read the book on holiday with my boyfriend and it was amazing, touching, dark and beautifully written. It is definitely one of the best books I have read this year, and there has been some pretty top notch competition from Margaret Atwood so yes, definitely a stunning novel.

Now, I am no fool, I was aware that the film would by no means be as good as the book- I mean, when is the film ever better? But really, this, this two hour distortion of a heavily dark novel into a chick-flick with some time travel thrown in just for fun?

[Spoiler alert]

There was a great variety I found rather crap about the film, however, these five really got me going:

1) Ingrid? Where the fuck is Ingrid…what about her friend, what on earth is going on? The suicide? the whole relationship? Potentially the darkest character in the book? Just no comment, they basically left out Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice

2) Why does he still have feet at the end of the movie? Why can he walk? No, just no…although the injury is mentioned it is in no way as dramatic as in the novel and hence the repercussions are servery limited

3) So Gomez and Clare didn’t have sex, I see, Gomez is also apparently a highly one dimensional character, as is his relationship with Charrise? Fantastic

4) Dr. Kendrick doesn’t have a son with downs syndrome anymore, come on guys, it’s a dark and difficult novel- you can’t change things for some sort of light prediction

5) Clare and Henry’s relationship- Another typical romance film, brilliant, that is just what I wanted, I really could not find any to watch

…So, my beautifully complex and deep novel is now a chick-flick. Immense disappointment.

I understand that the entire book may not have been able to be shoved into a film slot, however, Pirates of the Carribean was four hours, so was the Italian Job…people still loved them. Also, when cutting out areas of a book- do not change the genre, it will not be appreciated.

Many Thanks

Grace x

 

Something someone told me… Wednesday, Sep 26 2012 

Yesterday I wrote a post (https://overthinkingmind.wordpress.com/2012/09/25/why-is-that-why-is-it-that-youre-fine-by-yourself-but-after-a-relationship-yourself-just-isnt-enough-anymore/) which was basically about how before a monumental relationship you are completely able to stand on your own two feet and are completely happy in yourself but afterwards find that you aren’t the person you were before and find that you need the person you had around more than you could have imagined. It was about how you find yourself needing them and are no longer the independent person you were prior to the relationship. When I posted this one of the comments I got really resonated with me and I asked if I could share it in one of my blogs:

“Ever break a leg? After you walk around on crutches for several weeks, the day you get the cast off and leave the crutches in the doctor’s office is the first day that you find yourself reaching for your crutches before you try to get up out of your seat. It will be several days before you stop thinking about how to not get sweaty because you don’t want the bother of another shower today. It will be many days before you feel whole again.

Getting rid of your crutches does not mean your brain instantly stops counting on them.”

I thought this was an absolutely amazing comment and a brilliant metaphor which I think could apply to so many things, break ups; the end of friendships; career stumbles and more. I think it also sends the wonderful message that yes, in life you do get used to things and after they’re gone you miss them and the fact that you relied on them so much means that you don’t feel like you did after it happened- yet it also shows how you will be able to move on and how you will once again become the person who doesn’t need to reach for the thing that you felt once held you up, you will once again walk without the crutches.

This just showed to me how wonderful this site is and how amazing the people on it are and how they can comment on your thoughts and make you look at things differently and with, often, a more positive outlook. For this particular comment I would like to say thank you to ‘my atheist mind’ (http://myatheistlife.wordpress.com/) who wrote this lovely comment on my post.

Grace x

Being jealous and wanting people to be jealous of you Wednesday, Sep 26 2012 

A few days ago I wrote a post entitled ‘You have something amazing, now you need others to know you have something amazing and be jealous of it!’ ( http://wp.me/p2FNrO-jt ). This post was basically how, on occasion, as awful as this probably sounds, I flaunt things in front of those who don’t have something. My most common one being my relationship with my boyfriend in front of his ex who also used to be one of my best friends.

Anyway, one of the comments I received on this post was from ‘myathiestlife’ (http://myatheistlife.wordpress.com/) who basically asked what I thought this insecurity meant and if all I was feeling was actually due to insecurity. Now, I thought that would be a great topic to write about as I was not myself aware as to why I felt the need to make certain people jealous. To begin this topic I decided to do a bit of research and found that there was actually very little about why someone would want someone else to be jealous- I guess this is understandable as the keywords took me to sites regarding how not to be a jealous person and even a few on how to make people jealous of you (these were pretty messed up sites, basically listing reasons about how to make others feel bad and how to be ‘it’, it all seemed rather pathetic to be honest). Anyway, I did find one discussion board where a woman mentioned that she felt very jealous of her husband’s friends and after feeling this way felt the need to make his friends jealous.

This really resonated with me because, when I look back, before they got together I never felt the need to advertise how much time we spent together. I think I liked him a lot more than I thought and felt the need to hold onto the fact that I was still closer to him than her. When we got together I guess I felt the need to prove that our relationship was better and would last and I know it’s probably stupid that I still feel this way after two years with him when they’d been together for about a month, but I just feel like I need to over-compensate for the fact that essentially I wasn’t the first choice and in reality that can never be different.

I also read a very interesting post (http://positivejuice.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/the-real-reasons-why-people-get-jealous-and-why-jealousy-is-so-powerful/) which concerns envy and jealousy and how envy is healthy in that it can motivate you to have something someone does not whilst jealousy is unhealthy as it is the feeling that if you can’t have something no one can. One of the points it makes is that jealousy in romantic relationships is powerful in that say, if your best friend were to have another friend you are far less likely to care that if your partner was close to someone. The post relates this with jealousy essentially deriving from the fear that you will lose what you have. Relating this back to the post of me wanting to make his ex girlfriend jealous I believe that it may be that I want her to be fully aware of the loss and know that it is a permanent loss, I also feel that by flaunting the relationship I eliminate some fear in myself that I may experience the loss of my boyfriend.

I do not think that my desire to make someone jealous is healthy in any way but it seems like the fact that she was there before me and the fact that she was so close to both of us bothers me more than any other ex girlfriend of his. I just think I am insecure in that he didn’t pursue me first.

Grace x

 

Why is that? Why is it that you’re fine by yourself but after a relationship yourself just isn’t enough anymore? Tuesday, Sep 25 2012 

You’re fine and you’re happy, things are going right,

You’re self-sufficient intelligent and bright.

He comes along and you think, yes wow,

Things really are going my way now.

The days go on, the months, the years,

It’s subtle at first and you don’t ever realize.

Then one day he’s gone, bish bash, bagoon!

That’s when you realize how much you’re world changed, how much you’ve changed. You realize he became the glue that held you together, you got used to this glue, and even though you have the same job and everything else in your life is great, somehow it’s harder and different, you can’t keep yourself together anymore.

Why is that?

Grace x

SERIOUSLY?!?! Monday, Sep 24 2012 

Now, for the people who read my blog, you will know I am not slutty when it comes to capitals, I use them sparingly and the whole ‘?!?!’ has not even been used yet. However, now is the time!

So, I’m all casually sitting on Facebook; reading some blogs; playing some Tetris etc. etc. and begin talking to a friend of mine from university. We’re chatting about the normal stuff and I ask who’s back and he says that actually he saw one of my friends yesterday. He said that she was happy and everything with her was good but did mention that her room was absolutely tiny in her new house.

“She said I’d love her new room haha! Has she got a single bed?” Is my response.

“Yeah,” he says. “The only reason she got that room was because the other girls had boyfriends.”

WHAT!?!

That is one of the most idiotic things I have ever heard in my life! Why should rooms be decided upon because someone has a boyfriend. I mean, obviously I understand the practicalities of it (sleeping, clothes etc.) but this cannot mean that rooms are decided like this! Why should someone be punished for the fact that their housemates have boyfriends?

Also, none of the girls in the house have steady relationships: one cheated on her boyfriend and they are very on and off and the other slept with everyone last year and got a boyfriend like a month ago- surely you cannot decide a year long living arrangement on these facts! These girls lived in halls last year and all had single beds, they survived that didn’t they?!

I am absolutely astonished that this was the way to pick rooms, what happened to picking out of a hat?

Why should a single person not get the chance to have a double bed because they are single, they may even have more people in it if their into that sorta thing! And if not, they should still be allowed a double bed, I mean, your boyfriend isn’t even always going to be there so essentially you’re getting a double bed because of a Facebook status.

I’m not sure why I’m so angry, this in no was effects me but I am.

I am SO angry!

Grace x

Some pathetic facts about Grace Sunday, Sep 23 2012 

Well, I guess they can be called pathetic, my boyfriend says endearing, my friends say cute, I say it’s my way of showing affection:

  • I need to speak to my boyfriend everyday
  • Cuddles…I must be cuddled to bed every night unless something horrifically important prevents this from happening
  • If I text my boyfriend and he doesn’t reply for a while I am in a bit of a mood until he does (in fact, he just did and I felt an immediate lift in my mood and decided to write this post, also, I’m being way cool by not replying straight away)
  • If in a social environment I like my boyfriend to demonstrate signs of affection very often
  • I get so worried if we don’t have sex twice a day, I feel like something is seriously SERIOUSLY wrong
  • I love it when he wears the bracelet I got him for our one year anniversary
  • I hate it when he texts around me
  • I adore it when he runs plans by me before committing to any
  • I find it so hard to sleep when he isn’t with me, ironic because when he is I want to spend all the time I can with him but always conk off to sleep
  • Pretty much any interaction with girls annoys me to at least a tiny extent- yes, this does include my friends

I can imagine there are more but I think I’ve made people want to throw up enough for now and have probably embarrassed myself enough too.

Grace x

You have something amazing, now you need others to know you have something amazing and be jealous of it! Sunday, Sep 23 2012 

Right, you have the career you want and it’s fantastic: you feel the need to bring it up in front of your unemployed friend

You’re boyfriend is a wonder: you feel the need to bring it up in front of your single friend.

You did great in your university exams: you feel the need to bring it up in front of your flunking friend.

…And the list just goes on. Now, I cannot say that I am not guilty of this, in fact I would actually say that I am a person who does this. It’s awful and it does not portray me as a good person in the slightest but can anyone sympathize? You have what you want but you feel the need to mention it to people who don’t. I think I’m particularly guilty in the boyfriend department, I have this thing where I say things which sound bad about him (e.g. he leaves his shit fucking everywhere), when I actually mean it in a very endearing way.

Does it mean I’m insecure?
…Or am I just an awful human being?

I think I do this most to someone who used to be a really close friend of mine, she dated my boyfriend for about 2 months- they broke up and a few months later I was dating him. She’s single and her last boyfriend left her for some random girl who he had also cheated on her with for months. I don’t know why I need to slide things about mine and Jeff’s happiness, maybe I’m like a dog, marking territory and all that. I don’t know why I do it but I do, maybe I just want her to know that what they had isn’t anywhere close to what we have. I know that’s pathetic and it doesn’t matter- is this a way in which I portray us as being so much more. I know it’s stupid to even compare: I mean, 2 months to 2 years where we have been able to stay together through a whole year of university and have lived together all summer.

Maybe I’m just insecure.

Grace x

Love and sex when you’re ill Sunday, Sep 23 2012 

So, my boyfriend came home to a very ill Grace last night, he was amazing, he let me watch any crap that I wanted and just took care of me in such an amazing way. Sadly, he too is ill now, in fact, as I type he is snoring right beside me.

Now, the theme of this blog is how illnesses effect love and sex. I do not mean any serious illnesses such as cancer as I feel that I cannot truly comment on something I have not myself experienced, but illnesses such as the common cold. In terms of a cold I think my boyfriend can be a bit of a sissy…he is definitely someone you can put in the ‘man-flu’ category: You know, complaining, bad mood, incessant whining and the expectation that you have to do everything for him (I know he exaggerates but still end up being his nurse and maid when he has a touch of the sniffles- sorry feminism). However, it seems that in this strange turn of events he has simply become gentle, kind and very very cuddly- I like this kind of illness in him.

I, too, seem to have become very complimentary, cuddly and generally ridiculously nice. It’s odd how we seem to have spent the whole day with compliments replacing banter: maybe we just don’t have the energy for witty insults today.

Now…onto the sex! The sex yesterday was fucking AMAZING! I mean proper AMAZING. I don’t know why but I just felt so sensitive to his touch and I just wanted him so much and he wanted me. It was so hot…well, maybe that was just our mutual rise in body temperature…

I took off my top because I was boiling and he got hard, I touched and teased him throughout the evening. I had almost given up on anything happening when we said goodnight and began to spoon but then I though, hey, I want dick- now. I began rubbing his crotch properly and he got hard very quick. The rest is history…wait, the rest is biology.

However, for those of you who are aware that he had a hand injury…yesterday was the first time he was able to get on top. Hot hot hot! Finally, the weight of my guy on top of me, no wonder that I was thanking every cosmological power if I was a girl…the time I cumed in…lets just say that if I was a guy and my boyfriend was a girl he would be taking me to see a premature ejaculation therapist. God it’s good being a girl sometimes!

Grace x

Review: Flavoured Condoms Saturday, Sep 22 2012 

Image

First things first: I do not use condoms. Now, before I am chastised for this I would like to point out that I have only had sex with my ex of five years and my current boyfriend (both were virgins). Hence, the need for condoms seems rather moot. I’ve always been on the pill and my trust and paranoia issues are not as high as for me to think that I could have caught something off these fellas.

However, the various pills and injections I have had do sometimes make me rather hormonal so me and my current boyfriend decided to give condoms a go. It was horrific. It felt weird, he said the sensitivity was decreased, I thought it felt really unnatural and the whole problem of disposing them (we both lived with our parents at the time) seemed absolutely treacherous! In other words- hitherto, my experience with condoms has been limited to a brief attempt a few months ago (yes, we quickly took it off and had sex the good ol’ bareback way)!

Anyway, this review falls on a topic which I knew even less of until yesterday. You see, yesterday one our good friends was leaving so we went over to his for pizza, weed, alcohol; basically, whatever you wanted to do. By the end of the night it was me, slightly tipsy, the guy and my boyfriend. We were chilling and discussing random topics- anyway, somehow the topic became condoms and their different variations and me and my boyfriend were offered a condom in whatever flavor I wanted: I picked apple.

So, there I am all excited over giving a blow job to something which is going to taste like candy!

Soon we leave the guy’s house and head over to ours. Now, I’m a big fan of new things so am well on this condom business. I give my boyfriend a bit of a hand job and tell him to slip the condom on: as you can imagine, this in itself takes time. This, I will not fault the product for though- it was only our second condom to put on him so I guess that’s more our of a short-coming of ours rather than durex!

So, finally the damned thing is on. I start away with the usual blow job antics. However, my first problem. I usually use a hand and my mouth during a blow job but I don’t want to like hurt him by doing something weird with the condom. Just mouth it is then.

Also, his dick is currently green. This can’t be serious.

Now, literally about five seconds later I realize there is actually no apple flavor left. I go a bit deeper and get some more flavor, however, that soon disappears too.

So, there I am, sucking a completely plain and plastic feeling dick. It doesn’t even have the warmth and feeling of a penis and it just feels completely plain without any of the sensitive parts I can usually feel with my tongue. This just feels plain boring.

I try to take it off and end up hurting him. Finally we get it off and WOW, I am so in the mood for giving a blow job; simply for the fact that I would quite like to feel real dick and not something which feels like I’m licking some kind of plastic wrapped banana. There is also a tiny bit of apple flavor residue (obviously this doesn’t last long, was still nice at the time though).

When he’s cumed and relaxed in my mouth I pop up to snuggle.

“So much better without.” He says

“I know right. It’s not even my dick and I prefer it without!”

So there you have it.

I think condoms are a hassle; a waste of money and don’t exactly do any favors for the sexual experience! I mean, obviously they have their merits such as child control and STI prevention but it just seems that for someone in a relationship there are far too many cons to even consider it!

Grace x

First Date Wednesday, Sep 19 2012 

Okay, so we’ve been together for nearly two years but I’m still so so nervous for today. The thing is, it seems that we are either accompanied by friends, lounging in bed together or simply doing ever day things. Also, the fact that we’re both always together means that even when we do go out we’ve already gotten dressed together, walked down together etc. This is not the case today.

I’m getting ready at my dad’s and he’s at ours. I’m nervous and it may sound silly but I feel like, well, it is literally our first date. I’ve washed all my clothes just so I have a selection to choose from and I actually found myself worrying which shoes to wear!

We’re going to this curry place he’s completely obsessed with but which is absolutely fantastic! It shall be a lovely dinner and it seems that every time we go to a restaurant, regardless of the time, we seem to stay till closing- thank God for free jugs of tap water!

I’m nervous but I love it. I am so so so excited for our not so first date! I love that I can get ready alone and feel great about what I see in the mirror. I love the fact that he’s home getting ready too.

Well, first date and all I better not sleep with him and ooo I hope he rings back.

Alright, that was a bit silly, I can’t wait to get him into bed tonight and if he did ring me it would be a bit weird as I’m with him but still, a girl can still feel the za-za-zoo (Yes, a Sex and the City reference)!

Grace x

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