Age of consent Saturday, Sep 22 2012 

I have been reading quite a lot on this topic as discussions approach about the UK changing its age of consent from 16 to 14. This topic got me thinking about the age of consent in other countries and how laws may differ worldwide.

I found the website http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm very helpful in my search for worldwide age of consent laws as it literally listed basically every country, their age of consent or if they did not have one. I found that the age of consent worldwide ranges from 12 to 21. This is a difference of nine years which in itself seems rather huge; however, when you consider the massive changes which occur to a person within these nine years the gap seems even larger.

Now, in terms of these ages I think that 12 is an absolutely shocking age to be having sex at. I mean, seriously, people having sex at 12!? I didn’t even so much as kiss a boy until I was 14 and even that was a fucking dare and lasted about a millisecond! It cannot possibly be healthy in any way to begin having sex at 12, I mean, I wasn’t even trusted to go out past about 7 so how on earth could I be trusted to make such an important decision as loosing my virginity. I genuinely think that at 12 you are a child and cannot at all comprehend and understand how to make this kind of decision. Also, at 12 you will not realistically have any strong and lasting feelings for someone you are going to have sex with and sleeping with people you don’t see yourself being with is a much more grown up and complicated issue than something you can deal with at the age of 12!

Whilst on the subject of this ridiculously low age of consent I would also like to make the comment that in Columbia the age of consent is 12 only for girls, yet boys can only have sex at 14. What does this mean? Who would these 12 year old girls be having sex with, boys at least two years older than them (which at that age is a huge age gap)? is it suggesting that girls are more responsible? I really don’t know what to make of this. The only conclusion I can really come to is that in many underdeveloped countries (such as Guatemala and Indonesia- which both also have different ages of consent for boys and girls [Guatemala: 14 for girls and 16 for boys. Indonesia: 16 for girls and 19 for boys], girls are typically expected to get married very early and to an older man who can help provide for her family. Either way, I am completely dumbfounded by this discovery.

On another note, I leant that in some countries the age of consent is only valid if you are married, an example of this is Bahrain which has its age of consent at 15 or the time of marriage. 15, to me personally, also seems to be a very low age to loose ones virginity. Also, the implication that it can be earlier if you marry earlier seems rather scary and filled with images of young girls being married of older men.

However, although I am, to an extent, stating that these ages of consent seem far too low I also discovered some rather unrealistic ideals. For example, may countries state that they simply do not allow sex before marriage, for example: Saudi Arabia and Qatar. Now, whilst I am not going to be a virgin when I get married this does seem to be a lovely idea and I think that if it was upheld by personal desires rather than religious stigma it would be an amazing thing to do. Nevertheless, although these countries are obviously rich in religious views it does seem to be rather idealistic and unrealistic to expect only the married to have sex. I also think it is rather ridiculous to punish consenting adults for having sex simply because they are not married. Personally, in the words of Samantha Jones (‘Sex and the City’ and yes, I know this isn’t exactly the intellectual quote I should be putting in this post): “Before you buy the car, you take it for a test drive!” This, I believe is completely true, both with sex and with living together!

Additionally, countries with the age of consent at the high age of 21, such as Cameroon, also seem rather unfathomable. I mean, yes, I agree that people should wait but I also think that if the age of consent is unrealistically high people will simply ignore it as ‘just one of those laws’, you know, the ones that are there but no one really listens to.

In conclusion, I believe that the age of consent is definitely a very difficult thing to determine: set too low it gives the impression that children having sex is promoted (‘Brave New World’ anyone?), set it too high and it will not be something that people even try to aspire to. The thing is, I do think that essentially it is not the age that a person has sex at that really matters, it’s the reasons why they are having sex. Of course, this does not mean that 12 year olds ‘in love’ should be having sex, I just simply mean that I think that some people mature earlier than others and for some sex at 16 will be the right thing whereas for others the right thing to do will be to wait until 20, 25 or even marriage. At the end of the day, to each is own (apart from 12 year old’s ‘in love’).

Personally, I think that below 16 is a ridiculous age to have sex but that waiting till after marriage is not going to do you any favors as sex is a large part of your relationship with someone.

I would genuinely love any input that anyone has on this matter whatever your views may be.

Grace x

First Date Wednesday, Sep 19 2012 

Okay, so we’ve been together for nearly two years but I’m still so so nervous for today. The thing is, it seems that we are either accompanied by friends, lounging in bed together or simply doing ever day things. Also, the fact that we’re both always together means that even when we do go out we’ve already gotten dressed together, walked down together etc. This is not the case today.

I’m getting ready at my dad’s and he’s at ours. I’m nervous and it may sound silly but I feel like, well, it is literally our first date. I’ve washed all my clothes just so I have a selection to choose from and I actually found myself worrying which shoes to wear!

We’re going to this curry place he’s completely obsessed with but which is absolutely fantastic! It shall be a lovely dinner and it seems that every time we go to a restaurant, regardless of the time, we seem to stay till closing- thank God for free jugs of tap water!

I’m nervous but I love it. I am so so so excited for our not so first date! I love that I can get ready alone and feel great about what I see in the mirror. I love the fact that he’s home getting ready too.

Well, first date and all I better not sleep with him and ooo I hope he rings back.

Alright, that was a bit silly, I can’t wait to get him into bed tonight and if he did ring me it would be a bit weird as I’m with him but still, a girl can still feel the za-za-zoo (Yes, a Sex and the City reference)!

Grace x

How do you make me feel this way? Monday, Sep 17 2012 

I was just in the bath and my boyfriend managed to absolutely infuriate me- he rang to say he had not found my charger and I said:

“Cool, but you’re having a ten minute chat with me now.”

“No, I’m not.” Came his responce

“Urmm…alright. Why?”

“I’m watching TV.”

Seriously?! Guys…take note: this is not acceptable behavior… especially as I know for a fact he has a pause button and is at his dad’s alone (therefore, he can pause the programme without bothering anyone). Also, even if this wasn’t the case- seriously? You can’t speak to me for ten minutes because you are watching TV?

“Cool, bye” is the answer to that question, it is also what I said to him on the phone.

Now, I didn’t want to get into an argument over this so I left it. Not exactly a massive deal is it?

A few hours later he rings me to say he has in fact located my phone charger (hooray! I was dying) and said he wanted to blow off staying at his dad’s so we could spend the night at ours together (basically he’s seeing his family a lot because he’s heading off to university soon and I’m pretty much doing the same so we don’t get to spend every night at ours). Now, this was really lovely and he even offered to pick me up (by foot, neither of us drive) from my dads. How sweet and I would love to spend the night with him! So, hence, I was happy.

Now, this all happened within a few hours. Amazing how the small gestures of my boyfriend can be so different and be replied to with such different emotions!

Charlotte York springs to mind here (Sex and the City) and what she said about happiness: “Well, not all day everyday but yes, everyday.” That’s how I feel.

Well, I’m also in a spectacular mood because I have cleaned up, done my nails and shaved all that needed shaving during a glorious bath!

Grace x

My first google search Saturday, Aug 25 2012 

I have just been notified by wordpress that I have got my first view through someone googlIng ‘is getting a boyfriend’s name tattooed on you a good idea’, how exciting!  As some of you may know I have my boyfriend’s name tattooed on my foot as the result of a dare and a drunken holiday, something I don’t regret at all.

Also, I have significantly calmed down after yesterday’s fiasco of friends out staying their welcome due to my boyfriend being so amazing that night, he even let me watch 3 whole episodes of sex and the city….what a win!

Hope everyone is having a great day

Grace x