‘Facials’ – And not the £40 spa kind Monday, Dec 24 2012 

sperm

In this month’s Cosmopolitan there was an article about what men like to do in bed that women have mixed feelings about. Amongst the obvious threesomes and anal exploration one aspect of this article focused on ejaculating onto a woman’s face. Now, this caught my eye as a few months ago my boyfriend asked me to do it when he was drunk and it has since happened a few more times (including last night after our argument- well, that’s one way to shorten his annoyance with me).

Within the article the discussion focused around whether or not this act was degrading to women. When I looked further into the topic the aspect of degradation continued to appear with great prevalence.

Now, the question which popped into my mind was- if this is degrading surely other sexual acts can also be deemed as degrading to women? Some examples which came to mind are doggy, jizzing on boobs and spanking. I also tried to think of what acts could be seen as sexually degrading to mean and couldn’t think any to name. Turning to the trusted Google search I was also fruitless in any sexual acts which were stated as sexually degrading to men.

It appears only women can be degraded and only acts men can do are sexually degrading. Blow jobs were often high on degradation lists, however licking a woman out appears to be seen as a sign of a guy who cares about you and your pleasure. It seems only women can be degraded and there isn’t really anything which can typically degrade a men.

Personally I do not think any of these acts are degrading. I think the concept that many women would do acts they find degrading to men is degrading. Women have a choice and they do not typically need to do anything they do not want to do. I have done all the acts discussed and never felt degraded.

I think degradation comes from much deeper roots than the act you are preforming- for example, from being forced to do something you are not comfortable with.

I think you should do whatever you and your partner are happy with. Stop thinking about whether you are being degraded and instead consider whether you yourself are against these acts- that’s what truly matters.
Of course this is only my personal opinion- what do you readers think?

Grace x

Age of consent Saturday, Sep 22 2012 

I have been reading quite a lot on this topic as discussions approach about the UK changing its age of consent from 16 to 14. This topic got me thinking about the age of consent in other countries and how laws may differ worldwide.

I found the website http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm very helpful in my search for worldwide age of consent laws as it literally listed basically every country, their age of consent or if they did not have one. I found that the age of consent worldwide ranges from 12 to 21. This is a difference of nine years which in itself seems rather huge; however, when you consider the massive changes which occur to a person within these nine years the gap seems even larger.

Now, in terms of these ages I think that 12 is an absolutely shocking age to be having sex at. I mean, seriously, people having sex at 12!? I didn’t even so much as kiss a boy until I was 14 and even that was a fucking dare and lasted about a millisecond! It cannot possibly be healthy in any way to begin having sex at 12, I mean, I wasn’t even trusted to go out past about 7 so how on earth could I be trusted to make such an important decision as loosing my virginity. I genuinely think that at 12 you are a child and cannot at all comprehend and understand how to make this kind of decision. Also, at 12 you will not realistically have any strong and lasting feelings for someone you are going to have sex with and sleeping with people you don’t see yourself being with is a much more grown up and complicated issue than something you can deal with at the age of 12!

Whilst on the subject of this ridiculously low age of consent I would also like to make the comment that in Columbia the age of consent is 12 only for girls, yet boys can only have sex at 14. What does this mean? Who would these 12 year old girls be having sex with, boys at least two years older than them (which at that age is a huge age gap)? is it suggesting that girls are more responsible? I really don’t know what to make of this. The only conclusion I can really come to is that in many underdeveloped countries (such as Guatemala and Indonesia- which both also have different ages of consent for boys and girls [Guatemala: 14 for girls and 16 for boys. Indonesia: 16 for girls and 19 for boys], girls are typically expected to get married very early and to an older man who can help provide for her family. Either way, I am completely dumbfounded by this discovery.

On another note, I leant that in some countries the age of consent is only valid if you are married, an example of this is Bahrain which has its age of consent at 15 or the time of marriage. 15, to me personally, also seems to be a very low age to loose ones virginity. Also, the implication that it can be earlier if you marry earlier seems rather scary and filled with images of young girls being married of older men.

However, although I am, to an extent, stating that these ages of consent seem far too low I also discovered some rather unrealistic ideals. For example, may countries state that they simply do not allow sex before marriage, for example: Saudi Arabia and Qatar. Now, whilst I am not going to be a virgin when I get married this does seem to be a lovely idea and I think that if it was upheld by personal desires rather than religious stigma it would be an amazing thing to do. Nevertheless, although these countries are obviously rich in religious views it does seem to be rather idealistic and unrealistic to expect only the married to have sex. I also think it is rather ridiculous to punish consenting adults for having sex simply because they are not married. Personally, in the words of Samantha Jones (‘Sex and the City’ and yes, I know this isn’t exactly the intellectual quote I should be putting in this post): “Before you buy the car, you take it for a test drive!” This, I believe is completely true, both with sex and with living together!

Additionally, countries with the age of consent at the high age of 21, such as Cameroon, also seem rather unfathomable. I mean, yes, I agree that people should wait but I also think that if the age of consent is unrealistically high people will simply ignore it as ‘just one of those laws’, you know, the ones that are there but no one really listens to.

In conclusion, I believe that the age of consent is definitely a very difficult thing to determine: set too low it gives the impression that children having sex is promoted (‘Brave New World’ anyone?), set it too high and it will not be something that people even try to aspire to. The thing is, I do think that essentially it is not the age that a person has sex at that really matters, it’s the reasons why they are having sex. Of course, this does not mean that 12 year olds ‘in love’ should be having sex, I just simply mean that I think that some people mature earlier than others and for some sex at 16 will be the right thing whereas for others the right thing to do will be to wait until 20, 25 or even marriage. At the end of the day, to each is own (apart from 12 year old’s ‘in love’).

Personally, I think that below 16 is a ridiculous age to have sex but that waiting till after marriage is not going to do you any favors as sex is a large part of your relationship with someone.

I would genuinely love any input that anyone has on this matter whatever your views may be.

Grace x

Men are idiots! Tuesday, Sep 11 2012 

So, I mentioned the whole thing about my boyfriend inviting a girl to stay over (again, no, not by herself with other guys there, but I had cried about her staying over before so I was not much impressed).

He refused to come the night I found out

He went out last night so couldn’t

Today he tried to feed me some bull about being hungover. I put my foot down and told him that yes, he would be meeting me. Luckily he was compliant with this and we both agreed to walk towards eachother and meet half way.

We spoke on the whole way home about our respective nights and I began to feel a lot better. Finally, we met eachother and I just wasn’t that angry anymore- I’d missed him and he was very understanding about how wrong he had been. He was also rather horny (to be fair, I had just gone shopping and my have worn all my nice new stuff which featured a very pushy bra and some very short shorts). We rolled around kissing and hugging in the grass and we made up.

It still bugs me that he invited her. It also bugs me that it was so easy to get onto his Facebook and how I didn’t get found out!

We may have fundled around a bit- that probably wasn’t exactly okay as we could be seen from the playground full of kids. Nevermind.

We got cosy on a bench and were just chatting about some random stuff. Little did I know that within minites my boyfriend would prove why the men are completely useless. So, we’re sitting there and he turns to me and says “You sent me a very cryptic text which I just couldn’t reply to yesterday.” Now, I didn’t remember sending any odd texts at all so I asked him what he was talking about:

“The first one.”

“What, the one where I said sorry if I annoyed or bugged you the night before?”

“Yeah.”

“How on earth was that cryptic or difficult to reply to?”

My boyfriend then turned to me, completely baffled and started talking about how there was nothing he could think to reply to that with and had even employed one of his friends to help him (male, again, showing the stupidity). Apparently his friend didn’t know what you could possibly say to that.

“Thank you?” I ask.

“I’m sorry too?” I ask.

“You couldn’t think of that? Seriously?” I ask.

He looks at me in a completely bemused way and says

“Thank you? Why didn’t I think of that? Genius!”

Now, by now I am giving him a look of complete disbelief and confusion.

“Is that why it took you about five hours to reply?” I ask (also, I have just remembered what the reply was: “So we okay now :S”, now, that sounds pretty mean and as if he is still angry at me, it is also nothing exactly helpful and does not appriciate my swallowing of my ego).

“Yup.” Comes his reply.

Seriously? Even writting this I am completely in awe as to his stupidity. I don’t think my text was in any way difficult or confusing to reply to. My conclusion: Men are idiots.

What do you lovely readers think? Is my apologetic text in any way difficult to reply to? Would it stump you if someone sent you that?

Grace x

30 day meme: 5 Most Beautiful Women. Additionally, a quick note about female masturbation Wednesday, Aug 22 2012 

23. Five pictures of famous girls/women you find attractive.
Oh, before I begin, a fun fact. If you google ‘beautiful actresses’ (I needed inspiration okay) the button for related searches says ‘catherine zeta jones’. Now if that’s not a compliment I don’t know what is!
I thought I knew my five top most beautiful women, however, i decided to take some thought and thing are they REALLY beautiful or is it that I am deceived by people/magazines/television presenting them as beautiful and stating that they are. So here it goes, the top five most beautiful famous women (trust me, I have considered them thoroughly and these are NOT in order by the way)
Now, I have looked at many different pictures of these ladies and I think these five are truly beautiful, however, I have not exactly explored this as much as I could have, but here it goes:
1) Charlize Theron
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2) Shantal Vananten
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3) Misha Barton
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4) Lindsey Lohan
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5) Lauren Conrad
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I had so many issues trying to upload this!!
However, that’s my list. Also, why is watching porn/ masturbation still a taboo in the case of ladies, we have not been brutally circumcised in some barbaric country, we have needs too!
Grace x