“Reasons why I would never EVER have sex with you” Monday, Sep 10 2012

So, I was reading this awesome blog called http://reasonswhyimstillsingle.wordpress.com/ which is basically this guy stating all the hilarious reasons why he’s single and it reminded me of a drunken conversation I had with my male friend, lets call him Jack, a few weeks ago.

Basically, Jack was rather hammered and everyone else had gone home (because we’re awesomely hardcore and they we tired- well, actually I’d arrived late as I had slept all day, had already thrown up and had drank my body weight in vodka-red bulls and Jack, well, he’s like 20 ft. so I guess it would take a lot to get him nackered from alcohol).

Drunkenly I say: “We would be such an awesome couple if we liked each other, we always have bundles of fun and we wouldn’t have the whole sex complication.”

Jack’s lovely response to this was “Oh God! I would never EVER have sex with you!”

“Excuse me! Why exactly would YOU not have sex with ME!?”

(Yes, my ego is slightly inflated. Drunk? I think I’m a bloody goddess)

To this Jack responded with a very accurate and rather long list:

– I’ve seen you throw up pink rice, try to crawl away from it, fall into it and continue throwing up.

– You think that the solution to your throwing up with a hangover is to go out and drink more resulting in an even worse session the next day

– You’ve thrown up on me

– You’ve gone to hospital because you were so drunk and tried to attack the nurse

– You got arrested for trying to beat up a 6 ft guy because he was in your way in a club

– You think that not showering for days is acceptable

– You’ve come to my house with vomit in your hair

– I’ve seen you get angry and throw your heels at your boyfriend

– You always seem to be escorted out of clubs rather than leaving them

– I once found you passed out in a bush outside my house

– Your room smells like someone’s shat in it and there’s food from weeks and weeks ago in it

– I’ve seen you running around naked at a house party when you had a period pad on

I’m pretty sure there was more but I can’t remember all of them. Bare in mind these are only the reasons he wouldn’t go out with me due to alcohol. My god, there must be hundreds more.

How do I even have a boyfriend?

Grace x

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31st August 2012 Friday, Aug 31 2012

I couldn’t really think of a title for this post.

I was successful in being awake and went to the hospital with my boyfriend to remove the stitches on his hand.

It was a good day and I didn’t want to leave him. So, we went back to his dad’s and he happened to mention that he had a very busy day tomorrow:

“Doing what?” I asked

“Stuff”

“What stuff?”

“Seeing people”

“What people?”

“High school people”

“Oh, you guys are on it!” (He’d met up with his high school friends quite a lot recently)

“No, not them”

Now, before you get the wrong idea, these questions were asked with some space between them, also, he usually just says who he is going with so I got a bit suspicious when he kept giving me these bullshit answers.

“Is Douchebag going to be there?” I ask (let’s say that’s his ex-girlfriend’s name)

“No, she didn’t go to my high school”

I should have probably known this, but it was a long time ago.

After this, I let it go. We got to his dad’s and I began making nachos for him. Then a horrific thought hit me. You see, he has this friend, let’s call her Satan, now, him and Satan had fooled around before and I guess you could call them friends; but one night when he went out with his friends she tried to make out with him even though she knew he had a girlfriend (me). Now, he didn’t tell me about this for ages (I don’t doubt it didn’t happen, I mean my friends would have told me, plus, she ended up getting with several other guys that night; including hooking up with my boyfriend’s friend during and for a while after).

“Satan! Satan’s going to be there isn’t she!” I suddenly gain realisation

“Yeah.”

Now, this fucked me off royally! I mean, they haven’t seen each other since she tried to kiss him and what kind of friend tries to get of with their taken friend? His whole case was based on the fact that they were friends and I should therefore not be upset, furthermore, he argued that nothing weird has happened since- they haven’t fucking SEEN each other since!

I was now fuming.

I am still fuming to some extent I think. The thing is, it’s not that he was seeing her which truly upset me, it was the fact that I had to GUESS that she would be there, he didn’t tell me himself; just like the kissing incident wasn’t brought up by him.

We argued, he got rather stroppy at one point and said he wouldn’t go to the meal then. I said that that wasn’t the point. He got angry because apparently he was doing ‘all he could.’ How about fucking telling me you’re seeing her! He even claimed that he would have mentioned it tomorrow (what, when they had already met up? Great). He said he didn’t want the reaction I was giving him now. My reaction was mainly because he didn’t tell me! Also, it contradicted his other argument of him saying he didn’t think I would think it was a big deal.

He’s not going to the meal now, apparently it’s his choice because he wants to go shopping for the camping trip me, him and some friends are taking in a few days.

I don’t want to be the one who makes him not go, I want him not to go out of decency.

I don’t even particularly care if he goes. I just want him to tell me next time. He knows who and what bothers me so just tell me about it.

Friends don’t try to make out with friends who are in relationships. Fucking slut.

His hand is fine though. I’m going to get drunk at the pub today.

Grace x

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True love is friendship set on fire Friday, Aug 31 2012

Right guys, I have successfully pulled an all-nighter and can now accompany my boyfriend to the hospital on time! I’m pretty impressed with myself as I was knackered by the time I rolled out of bed this morning, plus I had wine at the pub in the evening! All in all I am proud of myself!

He’s getting his stitches out today, I’m really hoping everything goes well. Neither of us knows what exactly goes on his wounded area after the stitches come out so today shall have a somewhat learning-curve element in it. Now I just have to summon enough will power to get out of bed and off WordPress!

I know the title is a bit mushy but I thought it was appropriate since I’m rather excited to spend the morning with my best friend turner boyfriend (while still being my best friend). I hope we’re not late this time, last time we were in too much of a rush to get any food on the way to the hospital and damn there were some yummy looking places on the way!

I have my blackberry all sorted now, and yes, I do have the WordPress app (it’s actually pretty good). If I have time I’ll sneakily (he doesn’t know about the blog) post anything funny I see on the London Underground- there is ALWAYS something funny on the London Underground.

Grace x

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Wasting the night away Friday, Aug 31 2012

I have just spent probably over an hour trying to make my blog just how I would like it, for those of you who’ve seen it before: I NOW EVEN HAVE CATEGORIES! How very official of me!

The thing is, today I realised my blogs vary quite a lot. I mean, first I blab on about my boyfriend’s broken phone, then I’m all up in yah grill about Akin and disability rights; this is the main reason for the categories to be quite honest. I’m also hoping this category business will promote me to write about important issues which I am interested in and have researched more often. The categories mean that my well written posts aren’t going to be swinging about with the likes of me cooing about my gecko and there will actually be some continuity within the posts about my daily life. How exciting!

So, for those of you who are aware of my all night steak out: it is going well, I (obviously) still have not succumbed to sleep. I have, however, probably eaten my body weight in crap just to get through the night. I expect a very happy boyfriend in the morning; although, to be honest I don’t expect to appreciate it too much due to my exhaustion.

Before I peace-out to read some more blogs (I have found some fantastic stuff tonight by the way! I really need to sort out the widget that says where I’ve commented so more people can see these great blogs) I just want to say that the so called ‘important category’ will not always be full of political debate and wise words, some will just be posts I think are important to me or posts that I think I’ve written well. My musing category can then be free for me to detail my daily life, escapades, my imminent return to university, friends, rants and the goings on between me and the boyfriend (not that these aren’t important, but they’re hardly world events and I quite enjoy the odd, not perfectly punctuated, rant, swoon or antidote.

Last random post I throw in the important file I promise! Just wanted to let yaall know what was happening with this category business. The things in the ‘beyond ramblings’ category are basically things which I have something to say on: ranging from Facebook to the current government, from poetry to important life events (don’t worry, the life stuff will be in the ‘Day-to-Day’ file too).

Grace x

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I’m so tired Friday, Aug 31 2012

So, it is 2.09 am in the U.K.

I need to go to the hospital with my boyfriend at 8 am. I already do not trust myself to get up, but today I’ve also had a fair bit of wine; therefore, the likelihood of me getting up is reduced rather substantially.

I have a very bad relationship with alarm clocks. The thing is, when I’m woken up rather harshly I don’t really know what’s going on and I have a tendency to either switch the alarm off or throw the clock/phone at a wall. This is facilitated to an even greater extent by the fact that my boyfriend is a rather heavy sleeper and even if he is woken up when he’s asleep he is likely to forget and instantly fall back to sleep. Therefore, on many occasions when one of us or both of us need to get up I, in my drowsy state, switch off the alarm and fall back to sleep, not really knowing what’s happened. This results in us both waking up later in a frenzy and blaming the manufacturers for us not waking up while running to wherever we need to go. Today this shall not happen. Today I am staying wide awake.

Although, in retrospect, talking about sleep when trying to stay awake probably wasn’t the best of my ideas. I am so tired. I want to sleep so bad. Only four more hours until it seems reasonable to be awake for the task at hand

Grace x

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Back from the pub Thursday, Aug 30 2012

I am currently back home from the pub, I’m feeling rather tipsy but I know I can’t go to sleep because I need to be up at 7am to go to the hospital with my boyfriend.

Those of you who have read my posts before will know that me and Chelsea don’t always get along. However, today we had a pretty good evening, just the two of us. General gossip and funny stories were exchanged and it was a good night. I’m rather shocked.

I guess I’ll be reading blogs/ blogging quite a lot today.

Hope I stay awake

Grace x

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The day I get a phone my boyfriend’s phone stops working Thursday, Aug 30 2012

What an absolute joke on my life.

Now I have to be stressed about meeting him in the morning as I don’t want to casually wake up at 7am to not see his gore-y stitches come out! Nevermind, I shall go, making sure I have enough money on my oyster, and if he’s not there by some change in plans I get to sleep all day until I go to the pub, sounds alright to be honest!

It was nice seeing one of my really good friend today who isn’t directly in my most active friendship group. I’d missed him

Wish me luck for tomorrow. For now I am off to the pub. I think staying up all night is a better idea than trusting myself to wake up for 7am.

Grace x

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The Pains of the Technological Age Thursday, Aug 30 2012

Today I wanted to go buy a blackberry as I haven’t had a phone in absolutely ages as I’ve been to busy to replace it after I lost it in a club (long story short; my boyfriend was so drunk he began grinding on a ridiculously fat bloke who then pushed him, as I was in the process of texting, when my boyfriend fell on to me my phone dropped. I was rather drunk and didn’t realise what I’d dropped, I didn’t really have time to think anyway as I had to drag my boyfriend away from a fight with this bloke. So, yeah, I lost my phone).

Anyway, here I am, cash all ready to buy a phone but no:

Apparently you can’t buy a phone from just anywhere as it will not be compatible with your sim

You have to buy another sim card and top it up with £10 by card or £20 by cash to buy the phone you want, you have to do this even if you already have a contract sim

You need to give so many of your bloody details, I felt like I was applying for a £10,000 loan!

Now, I know that there are different providers etc. etc. and that’s why you can’t buy phones from just any shop, but the other two factors just seem ridiculous! All I wanted to do was buy a damn phone and get home at a reasonable time to still have most of the day to continue with my DIY projects. Oh, and the BBM on the damn thing doesn’t work, and I had to do some weird registration online. Jesus. Isn’t technology meant to be here to make things easier?

Also, seeing an Iphone selling for £600 really makes me question humanity.

Okay, rant over.

I think I’m going to the pub today. I need to be up to go to the hospital at 7am with my boyfriend. Lets see how this works out shall we.

Grace x

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I Need to Rant Friday, Aug 24 2012

Right, so today, I woke up at 6am to take my boyfriend to the hospital, made sure I was super supportive and had a few people round after as a surprise. Now, I know that it can be argued that I put myself into the mess of having to tell them to leave but this is just getting ridiculous!

I have a headache, I’m tired as fuck and I just want them all to go and chill! To top it all off my boyfriend has decided to pay me no attention and spend his time thinking of women who ‘would get it’ with his friends! 

They are all still here and I’m being antisocial on the pretence of smoking due to that fact that I am slowly and slowly getting more irritated. I mean, surely when the host states many a times that they are tired; asks the time frequently and has informed you before hand that this gathering would not last long you would know to leave?

Grace x

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Continuing the ’30 day meme’ in fast foward Tuesday, Aug 21 2012

As I have mentioned before, for the full list of this challenge simply go to the post named ‘Fantastic’ and there will be a link for the blog on which I found this wonderful list. Okay here it goes:

7. Your star sign and how do you think it fits.

I am a Sagittarius, the archer thing. I’m not sure if I can comment on whether my star sign fits me or not due to the varied things I have read about it. However, I do know that this star sign is one of the ‘fire’ signs which associates it with passion and the difficulty to control strong emotions such as anger. I think it can be said that this description fits me rather well as I am usually quite vocal about how I feel. Nevertheless, I do think that if you try, you can find something in every star sign description to associate with yourself…of course, if this wasn’t the case they wouldn’t have lasted this long and the sport sections of tabloids would be longer due to there not being a horoscope section!

 

Ohhh, also also also, the boyfriend just rang and he’s already out of surgery (and I was hoping he’d be back at 6 at the best) and that he should be home in about an hour! I am so excited, I shall have updates on how he’s feeling very soon!

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