Explosion Monday, Dec 24 2012 

Yesterday me and some friends went to a pub, my boyfriend was amongst the group that went.

He had made a pub quiz for us all to do and when the pub closed decided to carry on doing it outside.

I was freezing and made a fuss about us just going home as I hadn’t slept the night before; was ridiculously cold; and just believed the night was over.

He still continued with the quiz and insisted I stayed when I tried to leave even thought I said he could just come home after me.

Anyway, we walked home in complete silence with me putting my headphones on.

When we got home he gave me a kiss on the head and said bye- apparently he was going to his dads.

He walked off and after having a little cry on the street I followed him.
nodmdo
I think the above picture is the only way to describe what happened next…

He completely exploded about me always wanting to get my own way and being weird about him being friends with girls. He then refused to come back to mine.

It was a truly horrific night with a lot of crying and I genuinely thought we were breaking up.

Finally, he came back home.

I was so tired and a bit drunk and kept falling asleep and thinking of Pokemon during the conversation.

We fought about me not liking him being friends with girls and I said I got jealous of any girl spending more time with him than I do- he said no girl does. I said I didn’t like the way some of his friendships were.

The argument ended for him in me saying I would chill about girls and wouldn’t be so pushy.

I think this is definitely one of the most horrific arguments we’ve had.

We went to Christmas lunch at his and he says everything is fine and we’re okay and he loves me. I worry that he’ll change his mind.

I hate that I don’t get to see him till the day after Boxing Day- consequently that is also his birthday.

I’m guessing this Christmas isn’t going to be particularly great.

Grace x

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It would be 1 month tomorrow… Friday, Nov 9 2012 

So, I guess I am a bit pathetic at blogging when I have something to do, I guess I have been rather overrun with university things, also, there has been crazy tension in the house I’m living in and my boyfriend and Judas seem to be getting closer by the day. I have decided to get straight back on the blogging horse though, and I’m going to get back to how things were, multiple blogs a day and days without when I can’t successfully hide what I’m doing from my boyfriend.

Anyway, I’m going to trot of and have a look at the messages I see flashing at the top of the screen and decide what my (re) debut story will be about

By the way, how do I still get views?! That’s just amazing!

Grace x

There’s jizz on my bed. I wasn’t in the room. Wednesday, Oct 3 2012 

I think the title pretty much speaks for itself…however, I shall continue to tell the full story of how this scarring experience occurred…

Last night me and a load of friends went out, one of them was a housemate of mine. Anyway, we went to a party at the university students union and got ridiculously drunk, like seriously, I didn’t even know what the fuck was going on. Towards the end of the night me and my good friend, lets call him Sean, went back to mine as we wanted to continue raving somehow; this didn’t happen and we ended up getting pizza and trying to watch random shit on my computer.

My housemate soon arrived as I think she left before us but was in a different house. Anyway, she came into my room and we all watched stuff together. Then, for some reason that none of us can fathom we ended up in her room and were about to go to bed, now, this was a bit weird as it was the three of us in the bed. I fell asleep and woke up the next morning.

I was so fucking confused as she had re-arranged and tidied up her room so it was so different from the day before so when I woke up I was so completely disorientated and didn’t know where the fuck I was. However, I soon came to my senses and realized, now, I also realized that they were not in the bed, I didn’t think too much of it but did have a funny feeling. It was early and honestly I just wanted to get into my bed and go to sleep so I went upstairs to my room. Now, those of you who have read my blog about our bedroom doors (https://overthinkingmind.wordpress.com/2012/10/01/getting-locked-out-back-to-school-disco-and-being-a-lot-more-independant-than-i-origionally-anticipated/) will be aware that for some reason we have the kind of doors which lock automatically when they close. This was actually probably really lucky as I may have casually walked into my room if I didn’t have to knock to get in. When I knocked I heard voices and awkward giggling. That’s when I knew. They had done stuff in my room! I then had to do the awkward thing of waiting outside my room as they scrambled for their clothes.

Anyway, finally they opened the door and literally ran out with excuses and apologies, I just walked into my room saying this was far too awkward already and I was just going to go back to sleep. I heard my guy friend leave through the front door. I headed for my bed and was just about to get in when I saw it…the stains! There were very very clear wet patches on my bed! What the fuck!

I was in the process of being in shock when I got a knock on my bedroom door, Sean was back, he had forgotten his shoes and in the rush had simply run out of the house without them! Now, I wasn’t mad or anything but I jokingly began to shout at him about their being ‘fucking jizz’ on my bed! He said hurried apologies and ran out with one shoe on and one in his hand!

Now, I bet you’re thinking this can’t get much worse…it can.

So anyway, I’m still bloody tired and it is ridiculously early so I decide to get into bed after putting a cover over the guilty patches. I then began drifting to sleep. Now, I hate when there is something in my bed and I always move it because it fucking bugs me so when I felt something in the bed I proceeded to find whatever it was and remove it…it was my housemate’s underwear! Ugh! How awkward.

I threw the convicted underwear out of my bed and tried to get to sleep, however, peace alluded me and I ended up giving up and going downstairs. There, I find my housemate frantically running around looking for her stuff (leaving out of absolute and complete embarrassment), I flounce over to her and place the underwear I had brought down with me into her bag and go into the living room- here I find my other housemate, eyes wide and clearly dying to know what happened, I’m also absolutely killing to share my horrific story. Luckily the offending housemate leaves and we are free to gossip.

Soon after my other housemate comes down and is really confused why she heard a guy leaving my room in the early hours of the morning (I have a boyfriend of two years), so we get to tell her the story too!

Today I also remembered that the housemate who christened my bed also got with my other friend early on that night! She also thinks the affair in the bed meant a lot more than it did. My guy friend is buying me new sheets and is forever to give me drinks in clubs.

Now, the key elements of this story I believe are

A) I didn’t fucking get to christen my own bed with my own boyfriend

B) We tried to flip the mattress and found there were period stains on the other side (me and my housemate discussed which we thought was worse for me to sleep on, I’m still rather undecided, what do you guys think?)

C) The girl literally had to do nothing! I got the guy to the house.

D) She got laid and I got a pizza from him- I’m like the fucking fat ugly friend in this scenario

E) Why didn’t she simply wake me up and tell me to leave her room? She could have even said I was snoring or something, hence, it wouldn’t seem too weird.

Regardless, I do feel rather scarred by this experience and hope it befalls no one else. Also, I would really like to convey the message that I would have liked to christen my bed and if you have a bedroom in the same house as the one you are at it is ridiculously odd to have sex in another persons bedroom.

Traumatized I now need to sleep in this bed. On the bright side, I do love how things like this happen and are just damn hilarious!

Grace x

Getting locked out, back to school disco and being a lot more independant than I origionally anticipated Monday, Oct 1 2012 

1st by title and also my first issue today was that I got locked out of my bedroom…not my house, my bedroom! Basically, the doors we have for our bedrooms lock automatically if they are closed (like the typical front door), hence, when I tried to pop to the bathroom and the wind smashed my door shut I was left in the corridor (strangely our front door does not lock automatically and it needs to be locked on both leaving and entering the house). Anyway, this really annoyed me as I had a long list of things to do today. Also, I like to have some time by myself and I am not a fan of constantly being downstairs with housemates. I mean, of course they are lovely people but a person needs their space you know. Anyway, I called the landlord and he said he would be over within the hour, he then rang back to say he would be there in seven whole hours! Finally, that time has arrived, well, he was late, but luckily I have finally got into my room and am so damn happy!

I also can’t wait to go out tonight, I love the ‘back to school’ disco theme where everyone dresses up in school uniform! Also, I am quite intrigued to see what it’s going to be like, I mean, it’s a freshers event where everyone is essentially desperately trying to make friends, being a happy second year is going to be quite nice…this does in no way mean I am not going to get absolutely off the handle drunk!

Lastly, I feel very content and happy with myself. I thought I’d be a wreck being away from my boyfriend after living with him all summer- however, I am thoroughly enjoying the company of others, my own space and life in general! This makes me feel really good about myself as it is always nice to know that although you love someone you are able to function without them. I think it’s also quite healthy that we have this week apart with our friends and getting back into the swing of things…this does in no way mean I am not crazy excited about seeing him on the weekend!

Grace x

Did I pick the wrong house? Monday, Oct 1 2012 

Last night I walked into pre-drinks and everyone literally jumped up and pushed people out of the way to hug me. It was the best thing ever and it was absolutely amazing that so many people wanted to spend time with me!

Meanwhile, two of my flatmates had decided, last minute, that they weren’t going out and didn’t even bother to tell me. The one who did come left early.

I’d be allowed to smoke in the other house and the people there seem to appreciate me way more- why did I choose to live with these other people who hang about doing nothing all day and don’t seem all that bothered about me?

Anyway, they want to go to a club tomorrow but the other people are going to a different one, I’m going to go to the different one as I just think it will be heaps more fun and I won’t be having to leave when I feel my night hasn’t even begun yet!

I miss my halls from last year, they were a fucking ball! I don’t know, maybe it’s just the first few days and I’m just settling in. At least the other people only live about two minutes away so I guess I can go there anytime. It just sucks to not be comfortable in your own house.

On a brighter note, tomorrow is going to be AMAZING, and I get to go out with one of my guy best-friends who I didn’t get to see all summer and who is absolutely fantastic. Also, I’m really looking forward to seeing my boyfriend on Friday which I’m sure will be great, I do miss having him around all the time but it’s also lovely to be in a house which is mine.

Tomorrow I’m going to go do some food shopping and get myself more together.

Also, I have a gecko and well, he was car sick on the way here! How weird is that! I thought he was dying and his insides were coming out and nearly lobbed him out of the window! Luckily I realized it was vomited up worms. How odd though, I didn’t know geckos could throw up, I know that may sound really stupid but you don’t exactly expect that!

I am so excited for tomorrow! Also, I feel like I’m actually doing something with my life as I am going to sort out my university lectures and get some folders together. I am really excited for tomorrow!

Grace x

I hate my dad sometimes… Wednesday, Sep 26 2012 

I hate that if he has a fucking bad day at work he blames everyone for everything in the house. I hate how he just vents and vents and whatever you say is irrelevant because he is only going to get more angry. I hate how he wants to be controlling and I hate how he can just be nice one minute and horrible the next.

I was just informed that if my little brother, who is nine, was to step on a nail brush I left on the floor he would break his leg. It’s fucking ridiculous. I don’t even live here and I get blamed for everything breaking; for any mess and pretty much everything that is wrong with his life.

I do hate him on days like this. Can he just fuck off so I can actually write a blog about something which isn’t a rant about how pathetic he can be some days.

Leaving… Monday, Sep 24 2012 

Today it hit me, I’m actually leaving.

In fact, I’m leaving in under five days.

Okay, I can’t be melodramatic here, my university isn’t all that far away and my boyfriend lives but nine minutes away by train so I can’t really complain. I’m just feeling rather nostalgic, I  mean, I’m leaving my family home and I’m leaving the flat me and my boyfriend rented for ourselves over the summer. I’m leaving friends and the places we go to everyday.

I feel a bit ridiculous, it is my second year of university after all.

Regardless, change is weird. The stratngest thing about going back to university is packing up all my stuff, I mean, it literally puts my whole life into boxes. It’s odd how when these things are in my room they are, well, a part of me, the posters and the shoes which hold so many memories- in the boxes they are just things: things which could essentially belong to anyone, things which aren’t linked to a special place in my room and things which aren’t, in that moment in time, adding charecter to the world around me.

Also, when you’re this messy, packing is fucking ridiculous to be quite honest!

I’m going to miss it here and I’m going to miss waking up with my boyfriend everyday.

Also, for those of you who remember Judas (this girl, my friend I would say, who, in the least paranoid way possible, I think likes my boyfriend) is going to the same university as him…is that really necessary, I think I have enough stresses in my life without this shit!

I’ll be a big girl about it though, well, actually I’ll just be a small girl with an overdraft on all my cards due to my buying every push up bra around.

Grace x

The joys of OCD mess! Thursday, Sep 6 2012 

In my financial life I have no idea what is going on

People often fault me for this but lets have a look at the joys of being a complete mess:

– If you can’t find something where you think it is hope is not lost as it would be if you were tidy; you can look for hours while keeping the faith that you’ll find what you’re looking for

– You don’t worry about bank balances, you shop eat and live like a rock-star most of your time and the rest of it you get drunk with friends in a park and happen to drop over to their houses around dinner time

– You know someone loves you when they put up with your mess, behaviour and random periods when you  are looking for coins under the sofa

– Your house always looks ‘lived in’

– You get an acute sense of direction and balance when you have to dodge obstacles in your house

– You are quite happy to stay up nights on end to complete assignments and get free sandwiches when the library bistro is shutting for the day

I love mess.

Grace x

I’m quite excited Sunday, Aug 26 2012 

I love having the house to myself ever now and then, I can watch crap television without being pestered by my boyfriend, cook up odd concoctions without running the risk of killing him and sit around doing nothing without thinking I’m being really anti-social. He’s at his dad’s tonight and I may have told him I’ll get the house in order…this is not going to happen. Maybe tomorrow. 

I can also play pokemon!

I am also so excited about picking up my little brother, can’t believe I haven’t seen him in a whole month! The money I’m getting from my grandparents is also a much welcome treat!

I shall be dancing around in my underwear to the best of the 2000’s while smoking and drinking wine! Tonight is going to be a good night!

I can also blog all I like, go to sleep when I like and bathe for hours on end! I quite fancy dyeing my hair too, one of those wash in wash out perhaps? I mean, it took me months and months to go blonde (I’m naturally brunette and am too terrified to bleach my hair so I just dyed it repeatedly) so I don’t really want to dye it anything permanent as I cannot bare to go through that process again!

I also love the London underground, which is what I shall be taking back home from Heathrow!

A game that I used to play ( and sometimes still do) is to look at one person in turn on your carriage and think what you would want to have that is theirs. This can range from a cute top, nice eye colour or awesome shoes to things like being married, having kids or being really graceful. Give it a go, it makes the journey way more fun!

Grace x

Lack of motivation Sunday, Aug 26 2012 

I have so many things to do but I just can’t seem to get around to achieving them.

I need to sort out a lot of things at the bank and with student finance.

I need to see my friend who I haven’t seen all summer.

I need to sort out my room and my house.

I need to clean out my gecko cage.

I need to make a new bank account.

I need to look for jobs the next student year.

I need to do a lot more things.

I feel like I have no energy to do anything and I know that I will feel so much better when I have done all these things but I just seem to not be able to get the initial motivation. Even right now, I need to go food shopping but I just can’t seem to get up. I have no idea why I can’t be motivated to do anything, nothing’s even wrong, but I just feel drained.

I have also realised that although my boyfriend it kind, loving and supportive I seem to have drifted from a lot of friends because I want to spend all my time with him; I seem to have become lazy and incapable of doing things without him; I have grown jealous; I have become needy. I feel like it is definitely time for me to return to university, I mean, I respond well to goals with a time frame such as assignments. During summer I just seem to be exhausted, immobile and, to an extent, somewhere deep down, in content and saddened.

Maybe today is just a bad day, I am generally a very happy person.

I want to sort out a lot of things tomorrow, maybe putting it on this blog will help me.

First, I will have a good sleep. I will then wake and sort out my student finance. I will then smoke, blog and relax. I will then call my bank and try to sort things out. I will then begin sorting out my house. I want to feel happy and content, in a lovely environment tomorrow. I hope I do these things.

Music always helps.

Grace x